I just donated to the Organisation for Transformative Works.

This is part of fan and Internet history keeping and making.

I think being a part of it is awesome!



Good god, I've even posted a Cat!Macro in this honour.

Hopefully I'll find the time to do more than just vote and donate - volunteering is fun!

There is water on the Moon.

Now that, is News.

Last night I nearly had an argument with my parents, in which I was almost accused, again, of hating Israel.

Why?

Because I don't consider Iran to be an existential thread upon me or my nation.

Why?

Iran has bigger problems, like a civil uprising that's barely being reported now a days - unless it's a foreign national caught in the local politics. The fact that Iran is surrounded by American (and other Western) troops, in Iraq and Afghanistan - Yesterday was Armistice Day and I didn't mention it, because it's not a day commemorated here. We didn't "exist" during the Great War or the Second World War and we have our own military memorial days.
Not to mention Pakistan which really does have nuclear capabilities and appears to have a happy trigger finger.

Ahmadinejad finds Israel, like many other Muslim and Arab nations, an easy Scapegoat - it's part of our Status as Jews, I suppose.

I asked my parental units if they thought Iran was a big cohesive homogeneous nation? The answer was "Yes".
I called Bullshit and they knew that what they had said was not true, but the argument of "Iranian Aggression" doesn't fly when all of the above in taken into account.

I sincerely hope that not everyone thinks Israel is a bunch of Avigdor Liberman's (our Foreign Minister) and Bibi Netanyahu's (our Prime Minister).
Iran is too used as a scapegoat in order to deflect from our own huge problems - like the fact that 1 in 4 Israelis lives in poverty. That public housing is denied to mixed families. That the Settlements are a criminal issue and not just a "National" one.
Just to mention a few of Israel's "Problems".

But that's all small potatoes when we, Israel, an allegedly nuclear nation the tiny nation surrounded by enemies (with whom we are thinking about "peace agreements"... sorta) is being threatened by a politically unstable, non-nuclear and already sanctioned country.

Yeah, I'm feeling safe with Big Brother in this oh so tolerant and enlightened Jewish-Democracy.

Today I accompanied a friend to one of the most expensive malls in the country - it's a five minute walk from the Uni campus - which is situated in one of the most up market neighbourhoods in Tel Aviv.

Completely unexpectedly, I bought shoes.
I do not simply walk into a shop and buy things on the spot.
It's simply something I do not do.

But for these, I was willing to be spontaneous.
They are, in the words of my father, Zooty!

Add to that, that I tried on pants I haven't fitted into for the past two years and they looked awesome!
I'm feeling pretty good.
In that utterly shallow, I really should be beyond this sort of sizeist thinking, kind of way.

Follow the link! Admire those puppies!

Happy November 9th to all of you!

I was four when the Berlin Wall came down and I did not know until much-much later in life what that meant. What the "Iron Curtain" was, what the Eastern Bloc was, or any of that.
I do know that about two years later, when I was in 2nd grade, there were a tonne of new kids in my school with "weird" names and "weird" accents and I was so happy!
'Cause of my own weird name (though I don't speak Hebrew in a non-Israeli accent).

Sonya, Yuri, Misha, Sasha, Anna, Oleg, Kiril... so many pretty names. Yes, I like Russian names, it's what made "Crime and Punishment" bearable for a large portion of the book.

I am digressing.
Back on topic.

The Berlin Wall both when it stood and after it fall was a symbol of arbitrary divisions and unfair conquest; of geopolitics run amok!; of lives broken and torn apart; of a world made up of checkpoints, collaborators and coercion.

Sounds familiar.

No doubt the Separation Wall that has been partially built along the borders between Israel and the Palestinian Authority (it's not, in fact built along the recognised 1967 borders, which is one of the major problems) has been compared to the Berlin Wall - as oppressive acts committed by oppressors.
Though with 20 years hindsight, it's clear that the Fall of the Wall was a precursor to a time of a great ambiguity - Divided We Fall. What exactly does being United mean?
The Legacy of 1989 Is Still Up for Debate (NYTimes Article).

Last Friday, I mentioned that a section of the Separation wall was broken down by demonstrators. Indeed they did it in honour of the fall of the Berlin Wall.

WATCH: Protesters breach West Bank separation barrier.

(Once the demonstrators were dispersed, it was re-built. But you can't take away from the euphoria that moment brought)

The Fall of the Wall was the end of an era, it was the beginning of a new World order. We are still shaping it, our times are in flux and, just for the melodrama, we have the power.

Via rm I discovered the comm kinkfreezone and friends... for a fanfic comm that allows high ratings on the fics and includes Slash, Het and Gen; I have never in my whole on-line life seen a more sex-negative fic community.

Wanting to have a community and specific requirements on fic is fine, fun and dandy. Honestly, it is. Wanting to exclude certain criteria that you and others would rather not read, very fine, your prerogative.
That's not the issue.

The issue is with language and the so-called binary of Vanilla and Kink.

For a more lighthearted, yet not, commentary on the list of kinks NOT permitted you can read thingswithwings' entry here. The comments are hilarious.

But oh, where to start... hmm, possibly from the most offensive one: ( So as not to eat your f-list )

Voice fetishization (cracking or broken; husky, low, throaty; purring; accents; whispering close to someone's ear).
Fucking hell! Involuntary reaction is not a kink. No, really. This is possibly the most absurd (not offensive, I've listed things I found particularly offensive) criterion on this list.

That whole list needs a serious language editor, a workshop in sex-positivism and just a little shake-up when it comes to Vanilla/Kink binary - here's a secret... it's NOT!).

Enjoy mocking the whole thing.

Edited to Add: Amazing what going to bed will do.
My comment in now deleted, as are all the other critical comments made on the post - I restrained myself a lot and wanted to be respectful, I may have failed a tad.
Here's my comment for keeps:

This list has extremely problematic and prejudicial language.
Perhaps if you edited it, it would read differently, but as it stands, this is offensive to a whole slew of people who you included as a kink.
Some of these aren't even kinks but literary tropes!
Trope=/=Kink, please learn the difference.

Also, including involuntary bodily reactions? Please, get a clue - also the inclusion of "accents", "uncircumcised penises", "homosocial environmental", "nautical themes", "exoticism" and a big portion of "gender themes" just to name a few is downright, and here are heavy words, racist, xenophobic and over-all queerphobic in general.

Fetishising Vanilla is also a kink, you know.
As I said, get a clue.

I understand and respect the want of specific kind of fic, but that toes a line that isn't just about criteria... this is exclusionary in the extreme.

Here is the Mod's reply:

WOW am I getting sick of repeating myself. Had you actually READ the damn post you would see RIGHT AT THE TOP!!! that it is, in fact, a list of KINKS, TROPES AND CLICHES from fandom!

You can go GET A CLUE sweetheart and get the fuck out of my community.

For serious.
The post itself has been updated, because you know, instead of trying to make the comm a little more inclusive - let's just be all the more offensive and delete the things I dun like!
How dare people get offended and say something about it! Sheesh!

Comic books came to me at a time in which I was searching for belief.

Between the ages of 13 to 15 I was going through a Wiccan/Pagan phase, sad but true, I lived the stereotype. I even have a paper diary in which I wrote down my teenage angst and rage at not being able to be polytheist, not realising I didn't actually believe in any god - because the gods are stories to me.

Mythology, the stories of why we are, who we are; that was what attracted me to the Bible stories, the cosmology of Life after Death in ancient Egypt and incestuous love affairs of ancient Greece.

I can't remember what motivated me to explore religions outside Judaism (I loved the myths before I understood that god was supposed to be more than just a character in a book), possibly because I found and still find, going to shul incredibly boring.
The liturgy can be lovely, but I can't stand the thought of being there just because of (cue the Fiddler) Tradition.

At around that time I was reading Terry Pratchett and found that the philosophy he espouses in Pyramids and Small Gods sat very well with me and my apathetic-yet-literary pursuits.
I also found Good Omens and wasn't that a delight for me, receiving validation in my dislike of religion and being critical of belief at the time¹.
I had no clue who Neil Gaiman was.
I found out.
Enter the Sandman.
It took me four years to collect all ten volumes, as a teen my funds were lacking, of course, so I begged for early birthday presents, loaned money from my brother, just to get my hands on the next Sandman books.
When I realised that Sandman operated in the same world (though a different plain) as DC comics - I began to read Batman again.
Batman, whose villains are so much like himself... he even "dates" them - costume fetish? You bet!

I can now see, looking back and thinking critically upon that very apathetic time of my life, that my need for religion, the search for something bigger than myself - was the search for stories that were bigger than my life... and there ain't nothing bigger than the Endless, the Justice League, the X-Men, V and even the all too fallible Watchmen - post-humanism... oh yes. Now that's transcendent.

I remember reading Season of Mists at 18 and feeling as though my ideas regarding all the gods, faith and world order, laid out in front of me... in vivid colour².

I read "Concerning Mammoths, and Falling Walls" again (the third chapter in Brief Lives) not long after the second Lebanon War and the line Death (our friend, our constant companion in Life) says to the very long-lived man who asks "...I did okay, didn't I?" concerning how long he lived, she says:
"You got a lifetime. No more. No less."

That sentence has been resonating in me for the past three years. It comforts me when I think of my mortality, because we live as long as we do.
And that's it.

Having recently read Gaiman's rendition on the "death of Batman" in Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?" that line echoed in my mind.
It echoes all the time.

Though slash fiction were my main source of understanding "alternative" sexuality and the fact that I, myself, was not straight, comics empowered me in being outwardly weird - I like the colours... in comics even black is bright.
The dynamics of gender in comics are far more complex that what people think - sure, it's busty women in skin tight (or barely there) costumes and it's muscled men in skin tight (there are bulges) costumes.
You can learn so much about what is idealised and why by reading these people who still hark from that time of pulp-fiction and illicit magazines.

I'm writing this whole spiel because Blognewsarama (my main comic oriented news site) plugged this website:

The A-Z LGBT Comic Book Character Superlist, which is freakin' awesome! This website Queersupe appears to be that much more extensive, in-depth and analytical.

Works for me! Go and explore.

And just to keep with the theme of this somewhat sombre entry; comic books (along with my search for faith through religion) enabled me to doubt, ask questions about the veracity of the stories we tell ourselves (all are real of course) and the ideals upon which they are supported... helped me learn about myself and the stories that make my world the way it is.

Footnotes
(1) I'd just like y'all to know that it took me a long time to come to the conclusion that agnosto-atheism was the best place for me, I really wanted to have some kind of faith that was bigger than me. But my identification with being Jewish is too strong, though historical, cultural and ethnic - religion is a composite in that, and despite being a complete heretic... I cannot remove it from me entirely.
Back to text.

(2)For a long time Bast and Anubis were my closest companions in my dreams and I even bought two little figurines of them... they sit along with the other statuettes in my room, that I collected over the years. I once used them in a ceremony with a bunch of friends - I was still trying to be of belief, faith and religion, but inwardly I was already gone. A hypocritical portion of my life, without a doubt.
Back to text.

Today, at the weekly protest in the village on Nialin, demonstrators broke down a section of the wall:


( More under the cut )

That is so amazing and encouraging, the significance of it being so close to the date of the fall of the Berlin wall is just... poetic.

I was sitting at the bus station minding my own business.

A man of about 50-55 comes towards me and asks if it's all right if he smokes. I thought it was very (see, overly, for the society we live in) polite of him to ask and said "sure".

This was quite obviously a ploy.

He begins to tell me a story.

"I just couldn't sit at the other bus station. There was a girl there; dressed far too revealingly for me, her chest hanging out and short pants".

I'm staring at him as though he's grown an extra head. Instead his beard, peyot, kipah (yarmulke/skull cap) and tzitzit become glaringly obvious props for his forthcoming tale and story.

In my head, I'm screaming: "Why? Why is this man talking to me and regaling to me this bullshit story!?"

He continues (sans my loud thoughts that this man is a religious nut): "I ask [the aforementioned girl] do you believe in G-d?"

In my mind: "Mercy!"

He tells her words: "'Yes' she says and I ask you [that is, me and the universe in general most likely] if she's have said 'yes, but I sin', I could live with that... But dressed the way she is... how can she say that!?".

Meanwhile, I'm trying to understand why this woman (if she indeed exists outside this man's narrative) engaged with this man, seeing as I was doing my best to Not Engage with this person and his irrational tirade about how this woman's dress somehow marks her heretic - obviously I'm the best audience ever! What with my long jeans, trainers, long-sleeved shirt and high necked top underneath it.
If only we were telepathic, nay?

He goes: "She tells me her beliefs are simple. How can creation be simple?!"

How I wished I had a desk on which to bash my head and his continuously!

Throughout this entire time I'm dying for a bus, any bus to arrive to take one of us away! I'm also silent, grimacing from time to time and keeping away from him as much as possible while not leaving the bus stop - I really did not feel safe enough to tell to STFU... perhaps if there was another person there I would have told him to stop bothering me... but *Gah*, the situation just really did not encourage aggressive-aggression and I went for body-language instead.

"Creation can't be simple" this man says, "I tell her [still this very-well-could-be-fictional-girl] 'that table? You see it? Someone designed it, yes?' she replied 'yes'. So no tell me G-d doesn't exist!"

I was ready to throw up on him. I had been feeling queasy regardless, but I could have blown chunks over this.

He continued with this line of talk and thought for a good ten minutes, in addition going on to inform me that the Bible predicted Swine 'flu (o_O) and that according to Rabbi What-ever-the-fuck 14,5-and something are going to die because that's the Gimatric interpretation of the Hebrew letters of Swine 'flu (which are שפעת חזירים).

I actaully breathed a sigh of relief when his bus arrived and he was out of my life.

It was just too odd. I don't think I'd ever been proselytised to before. Obviously him asking me if he could smoke was a ploy to start engaging me in conversation.
Good tactic.

I now have a funny anecdote about Jewish fundamentalists... who are so different from all the other ones you encounter in the street (much to our annoyance)

---

Off Topic, but related to the fact that I'm home and talking about this.
I'm feeling queasy and at the last minute decided not to go the talk tonight, because I'd rather not be sick in front of people.
I'm disappointed, but hopefully I'll be able to catch the DAM people at a later date during their visit in the region.

Hey folks,

Go blow shit up for justice!

Sincerely,

Your queer feminist anti-militarist anarcho-socialist grrl.

I believe in peace... Bitch!

Dialogues Against Militarism have arrived to Be'er Shevah and tomorrow they're speaking at the Tel-Aviv infoshop, Salon Mazal.

I'm really really hoping I can make it and not drop dead from my freakishly long day at Uni tomorrow.

Wow.

Maine.

Just another place in the US in which people get to decide who has civil rights, who has the right to humanity and who gets a say in people's lives.

It looks like it's down hill from there, because my friends that is not democracy. Democracy is not just "Majority Rules", it's also "Defense of the Minority".
The minority populations are supposed to be accorded with the same rights and obligations under the law as citizens.
If you require the same obligations, but not the rights accorded, then those are no longer rights.

They are privileges.

My heart goes out to my LGBTQ brothers, sisters and sibs in Maine and the US in general.

I can only hope things will get better and that those cowardly referendums and votes are repealed in some way and will no longer be able to affect your lives.

Same goes to Virginians and the people of New-Jersey - it would appear that the rhetoric of fear reigns strong in light of Obama.

Episode 3

Fuck.
Me.

This is bloody brilliant!

Dude.

That man, may he Rest In Peace.

I bet he'd have loved how the entire social studies, humanities and cultural studies world is going to go on and on about him over the next week.

I'm glad I've got my Anthro class tomorrow. And to think I was just trying to explain how he managed to structure humanity into Universals.

Death, now that's a universal.

As most of you know, the States do not consider LGBTQ people to be equal citizens under the law and are treated like different/second class citizens.

In a few hours voters in the State of Maine will decide whether gays can be human enough for these rights everyone else seems to have without question.

I'm not American, but I can spread the word.

The word is here: ( Details as c/p-ed under the cut )

It's been raining cats, dogs and frogs since Friday.

Today Mummy made Ginger short-bread biscuits for Libby my niece and I.

I had been in my room studying and the smell had been wafting about.

Not too long after Mummy called me and she started cutting the flat short-bread and I ate it.

Divine, I tell you. Divine!

Nothing like fresh baked anything on days in which the sky is falling.

I'm so glad I don't need to go out and do things today.
It is miserable out there; thunder and lighting, all very very frightening.

Two things happened on yesterday's Israeli News circuit and I think it show cases the different treatment given to Jews and Palestinians.

The first thing I heard about is that Member of Knesset Mohammed Barakeh was going to be indited for assaulting a police officer during a demonstration in Bil'in.
I've been hearing about this possibility for three years now and I knew it would be just a matter of time.
I'm not keen on calling out unfair treatment, but the fact remains that witnesses have said that if Barakeh touched a police officer it was in defence, because friends... you do not want to get into it with Israeli police officers, especially not the Special Patrol Unit - basically the riot police - who have no qualms about picking people up and throwing them into a crowd - I speak as someone who cushioned someone's landing.

Point being, I've been trying to find more info about the story, because Dudes, inditing an MK for assault is no small thing.

The other News story is the arrest of one Yaakov "Jack" Teitel (an American Jew who immigrated to Israel and has been living in Shvut Rachel - a West Bank settelment - since 2000) who has been titled as The Jewish Terrorist, under his belt are, allegedly: the murder of two Palestinians (a Shepard and a taxi driver), rigging a package bomb that was aimed at and wounded a family of Messianic Jews, the attempted murder of Prof. Ze'ev Sternhell (prominent Left-Wing thinker) and for committing a series of warning attacks against the police at the times of the LGBTQ Pride Parades.

He has confessed to almost all the charges and said he came to Israel in 1997 to carry out attacks on Palestinians as revenge for the terrorist attacks and suicide bombings.

Yeah. ( Click for more )

Below are the videos of what is now possibly considered the most controversial Daily Show interview to date (correct me if I'm wrong).
I'd seen them on my f-list over the past few days and hadn't had the time to watch or comment on them.
Today as I was going through my RSS Reader, someone shared the Mondoweiss post, the author of the post was actually in the audience that day.

I watched them and I found myself nodding a whole lot.
( Videos under the cut )
There isn't much to add to Barghouti and Baltzer, I always find it encouraging when Jon Stewart pushes the non-mainstream News agenda on his show.
I've read in a few places that people were irritated by his own Hasbarah bias, that he brought in Iran and tried to equalise the Occupation into being just a Conflict.
I think by voicing the "average" opinion, Stewart exposes the propaganda pumped into our heads and both Barghouti and Baltzer really stayed on message - that of non-violence and finding peace on the grass roots level, which where the true power comes from (damn I need to get back to my Arabic!).

I find Baltzer very interesting, as I had not heard of her before, Barghouti is a "known entity" and I've had a lot of respect for him and his activism for a while now - I hope I manage to actually hear him speak in person someday soon. But her background, coming from an American-Jewish Zionist household... I can relate, as y'all know.

Last week I was speaking to a fellow student and friend, she told me her partner was studying German and that as soon as they had their finances straightened out she and he were out of here.
I nodded in understanding and pangs, because so many of my friends speak like this (I speak like this a lot as well).
And she asked me if I also plan on leaving.
I said I'd like to live in a different country for a while, to have perspective, experience, do what my sisters did.
She persisted: "But you'd come back here?"
"Yeah, most likely"
"I wouldn't" she said.
And I said, like someone commented a few months ago when I was ready to pretty much pack and leave (if I could) then and there: "But what's to become of here if all us Bleeding Hearts leave?"
"I don't have a false sense of patriotism" she said.
"It's not about patriotism... it's about humanity".

I considered that I was very well indoctrinated in the Zionist ethos. I still am. I'm quite sure that the reason I see myself living elsewhere, missing this hell-hole and coming back, is because I was taught that "there is no where else that is Home for us".
As I've mentioned, ideologically speaking, I'm no Zionist, I'm a Lefty-Humanist. But I was taught and lived Zionism and very likely I learned to love my country, land and people because I was immersed in that ideology since I was a baby.
Cracks in that ideal began when I was in high school and went to Poland with my class mates and mother to see where we were exterminated... the Nationalist zeal so many came back with seemed utterly strange to me.
My apathetic teenaged angst prevented me from making the logical leap, it would be years before I could unpack the what that trip to Poland did to me, my classmates and all the other classes that went on that trip.

I suppose it's fitting that I'm writing this the week of Yitzhak Rabin's anniversary of his assassination. I had forgotten all about it, until I saw the signs for memorial ceremonies... to me it'll always be November 4th and not the Hebrew date I never follow anyway.

Where was I? Oh yes, I learned Zionism and I'm unlearning it as well. Jews and Palestinians co-operate all the time, talking on the level with each other, person to person.
Governments...
Well... not to sound all Libertarian (seeing as I like having a modicum of a safety net under me as I meander aimlessly through life), but when it comes to treating people like human beings, they're pretty fucking redundant.

But what Barghouti said was very true, it resonated.
I made it the title of this entry.

I don't think my internet persona is that different from my RL persona.

The one-sidedness of blogging and not having to be considerate of interrupting someone or someone interrupting me makes me more eloquent online, it also stops me from being repetitive in the same paragraph - at times, during conversation, my mind can go blank and I struggle for a word which will either be in the other language I speak (the danger of bilingualism) or I'll lose both words because I'm trying to figure out which is more appropriate.

It's frustrating, and quite obviously I'm the only one who takes it badly because hiccups in conversation happen all the time! I'm not giving a presentation or reading a speech.
I'm not an orator.
Stuff happens.

That's not where I was going with this post.

Backing up. Ah, yes.
My persona.

People behave differently depending on the context and people in which they find themselves.

I can be very shy at times, which surprises people with whom I'm very gregarious.

I've been told my internet persona belies my niceness and charm. Because, yeah, I do try to be nice and pleasant and friendly. Even with people that I don't particularly like or get along with, if I'm in the vicinity I do my best so that everyone gets along.
Until I don't.
And as I know and been told:
"Mel, when you're mean, you're scary"
I am assertive and my voice can pitch in a way that can be grating and strident and makes people tell me to "tone it down" which makes me even more irritable and thus... well, you get the picture.

I suppose because the social niceties that I pull off so well and easily IRL aren't required for online interaction. I try to be respectful to any one I communicate with, there are exceptions of course, because when I people don't bother to keep their prejudices to themselves, I don't see why I should keep my opinions on said prejudices to myself as well.

I can be rude. I often am online. Assertion is read as aggression and you have to be clear in your writing because ambiguity is so easy to write unintentionally. Intentional writing will always carry a harder punch and more often than not, I don't pull the punches I write.

If you've met me IRL, you know I'm quite bubbly and babbly. That I'm bouncy and *squeeish* (something I manage to convey online at times, for sure) and that I'm loud and have no poker face.

I'm quite sure my online persona is just waaaaay more eloquent when it comes to talking about things that make me go *ARRRRGH* seeing as IRL, I tend to go *splurterscoughshriekBWUH!Eff-U Man!I-got-something-to-say!NO-I-WONT-BE-QUIET...* - this can also be what goes on in my head, because like many a family & friends gathering, many people say things that they believe are appropriate - like racial slurs (which I try smack down when I'm within earshot), sexist remarks (which are so pervasive in interaction as well) and homophobia laden comments (har har, oh yeah, you thought she was a man, that's fucking precious, har har) - and the situation calls for decorum, niceness and charm.

That bubble was bust a long time ago, but behaviour dies hard.

I come off strong.
I'm cool with that.

It makes me memorable.