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5th Jan, 2020

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Welcome Friends(to be) and (future)Comrades



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Photograph by Tina Modotti, May Day 1929

Master List of Fic

little destiny - bookworm
General disclaimer: All the works listed here are transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.

Iron ManCollapse )

Hawaii Five-0Collapse )

You can find all the fics above at my AO3 page: [archiveofourown.org profile] Eumelia

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/568286.html
determination & courage
Title: The World Is Turning to Noise
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/eumelia/[archiveofourown.org profile] Eumelia
Pairing/Characters: Steve/Danny
Rating: R/Mature
Spoilers: Episode 5.04 “Ka Noeʻau” (The Painter)
Word Count 1840
Warnings: Graphic description of decaying body
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: The title comes from Peter Gabriel's superbly haunting song “Signal to Noise”. This work was graciously beta'd by verasteine. Thank you, bb.
Summary: Steve puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing before moving it up to cup Danny's jaw and face. “Don't look.”
--
Danny's breaths are loud, shallow, his shoulders shaking with each inhale.Collapse )

Tumblr crosspost

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/602179.html

Things are coming to a head...

mystique
... and there's still so much to do!

Yesterday my mother and I went to Ikea and it wasn't as bad as I initially thought it would be. As some of you know, my mother and I tend to, uh, butt heads at times, but this was smooth sailing and we while we didn't whole heartedly agree on everything, we got what I wanted, seeing as it's my furniture.

The place is big and I'll most likely get a flatmate once I've settled in and made myself at home. But I do need some alone time. I'm just glad to finally get out of here after two years of living back at home.

It took a long time to get here and I probably should have gotten off my tuches and moved long ago, but inertia and uncertainty and anxiety stop me from doing many things when it comes to improving my quality of life.

Not to mention my laziness. I'm so very lazy, it's not even funny.

I'll be honest, I'm glad I'll be in my own place before I'm 30. I know it's an artificial milestone, but for fuck's sake, I'm going to be 30 in 2015 and it's not that far away; time is flying.

Meanwhile I need to start properly planning for my vacation, get the Internet hooked up in the flat so I don't have to deal with that with the whole move, get the bills organised and gah...

All the grown up stuff I've put on hold for two years.

At this point I just need my Hawaii Five-0 holiday.

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/601556.html

I want to believe...

mystique
... that one day I will blog again and that my thoughts will be arranged in paragraphs, instead of declarative sentences.

Hoping. Hoping.

I think once I move and my time changes a little, I'll be able to make these spaces work again.

I want to believe.

Did I mention I'm going to Hawaii?

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/601254.html
tickled pink
Title: Uncharted Territories
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/eumelia/[archiveofourown.org profile] Eumelia
Pairing/Characters: Danny/Steve, Mary/Kono, Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett, Grace Williams, Kono Kalakaua, Chin Ho Kelly, Joan McGarrett
Rating: R/Mature
Spoilers: n/a
Word Count 8298
Warnings: one scene contains near drowning.
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: I couldn't have done this without the patience and harsh criticism of my beta and wonderful friend Janet/@_valleygirl07. I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you so so much.

This fic was greatly inspired by the movies “Wings of Desire”, “City of Angels” and the show “Touched by an Angel” that I was obsessed with as a kid. I don't even know why at this point.

The title was inspired by the lyrics of Alanis Morissette's “Uninvited”, which is featured in the “City of Angels” soundtrack. Many of the songs on that soundtrack were listened to throughout the process of writing this fic.

This work is part of LJ's h50_reversebang, is accompanied by [archiveofourown.org profile] ignemferam's gorgeous fanart.
Summary: Danny is an angel with choices to make.
--

Danny sits by the bed of a dying man.Collapse )

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/600986.html

*tap tap* Is this thing on?

strength & conviction
So, back in May I turned 29. Not the actual news I want to talk about.

I sometimes feels it's superfluous to write long entries, when I'm on twitter (not so much tumblr anymore, I haven't been there for the past month or so, unless someone links me a specific post) and I manage to regurgitate everything I want to say in short, declarative sentences.

This is helpful because I find myself completely frustrated with everything that's been happening and being able to just tweet "ARGH" at the world has been therapeutic.

Kind of.

Not really.

I took the time to skim through the blogging I did back in the 2006 and I'm amazed at what I managed to churn out during one of the most stressful times of my life. I can't even consider doing the same sort of thing now.

Moreover, it's hard to look back at who I was back then, trying so hard to justify the shit that was going on, out of some misplaced loyalty to people who are no longer friends.

I don't even know who is reading this anymore. If anyone. Maybe this like back in the beginning of my years on LJ and then DW, when I was just shouting at the void.

If you follow the news, you know my country is murdering people again.

I've been thinking about a lot of things to do with that lately.

I hope there is something left to salvage.

Meanwhile, hi? How are you?

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/600635.html

It's been a while

oy vey
I know.

I don't even know what I have to say. All my little thoughts are scattered throughout the day on twitter, sitting on my ass and actually writing something coherent is kinda overwhelming.

So what's the what?

I'm still at my all-damn-day-job. Which pretty much my life, eating up my time and brain.

I got promoted! In this job I've been at for nearly two years, I didn't think I had the ambition or the guts to actually try to climb the corporate latter, but here I am.

Still living at home.

I've made friends and lost some friends over the past few months. I need to clean up this place a little, cobwebs everywhere, icons that don't reflect my life or my interests, bios that are two years out of date.

Everything is strange.

I feel strange.

But I'm here.

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/600371.html

Thus Endeth...

rest and relaxation
2013 has been my leanest year by far when it comes to writing here, the reasons are multifaceted and strange, but they the main one is that I have been sucked into the world of micro-blogging.

It may surprise you to hear, but I do very well on twitter (the link to it is on the upper left corner there). The content is pretty exactly the same there and it was here - feminism, fandom, queeriosity, politics, etc.

But friends, I have over 400 followers. That's not as many as some, I don't think my influence is that great - pah! Look at my ego go - but people like what I have to say, this is amazing to me at times.

I suspect that if I could have DW/LJ open at the office (and I sort of can, in a way, now that I think about it) I'd blog more. You see, I work 9 hours a day, 5 days a week (sometimes weekends) and I really love my job, but it doesn't really give me time to write long form. Texting quickly is where it's at and with my job, being connected to social media actually helps, so getting lost in the friends list may not be wise - but it might help my sanity? Who knows, I'm not sure.

I'm still living with my parents, 2013 was the year in which I did not move out, basically.

One thing that keeps me happy is fandom. I'm still watching "Hawaii Five-0" despite feeling like it reached it's peak in episode 3.15 and then took a nosedive to a place I sometimes find myself thinking "what the fuck am I watching?", but Scott Caan, Danny and his relationships with the team keep me going and keep me inspired, so I'm not giving up yet.

It has made me a bit lonely, though. Not being a multi-shipper (the little sparks of Danny/Kono and Danny/Mary and Danny/Almost-anyone-let's-face-it notwithstanding) I find myself a bit estranged from some of the fandom friends I've made when I realised that the majority of the McDanno fans aren't what I'd call home.

I feel very torn and pulled, floating along with the very few with whom I can gush and lose my head with and the fact that the rest of time I feel policed and annoyed.

Them's the breaks, I guess. I'm hoping the upcoming episodes uplift me a bit, knowing a few of the spoilers help when they don't make me fucking anxious because I trust Peter Lenkov et al about as much I trust the piece of Lego I stepped on.

I do hope to get back to writing long form, again.

That's what the arbitrary changing of dates is for, right?

See you on the flipside.

Tumblr crossover

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/599658.html

21st Dec, 2013

mystique
I'm very much alive and tweeting and blogging on other platforms.

What can I do to revitalise these places?

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/599145.html

Tags:

drink to that
Title: Make Me a Day (Make Me Whole Again)
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/eumelia
Pairing/Characters: Mary McGarrett, Danny Williams, Grace Williams, Joan McGarrett
Rating: PG/General Audiences
Spoilers: up tp 4.09 Hauʻoli La HoʻomaikaʻI
Word Count 2316
Warnings: N/A
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: So it appears I have a series? What can I say, Mary is inspiring.

A major thanks to Perspi for the beta over Thanksgiving. Couldn't do it without you, babe!

The title is from the lyrics of Tori Amos' Baker Baker.

I suggest you read the first part of this series first. The World Has Gone Crazy (I'm Glad I'm Not You) to be found on DW, LJ and AO3, as you prefer.

Summary: "Don't worry about it," he says, like it's completely reasonable that twice in two weeks she appeared out of nowhere on his doorstep.

---

Mary hates cryingCollapse )

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/599001.html
hey look
Title: The World Has Gone Crazy (I'm Glad I'm Not You)
Author: [personal profile] eumelia/eumelia
Pairing/Characters: Danny Williams, Mary McGarrett, Joan McGarrett
Rating: G/General Audiences
Spoilers: 4.07 Ua Nalohia
Word Count 2015
Warnings: N/A
Disclaimer: This is a work of transformative fiction, created for fun and pleasure. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: This coda is only just a little late. I'm a slow writer.
I love Danny and I love Mary and there should be more of them spending time together. The title is from Don McLean's Wonderful Baby. More lyrics from the same song can be found in the body of the fic itself.
My biggest thanks to Perspi and Iby who beta'd this with so much care. Thank you, babes.
Summary: Mary stands in front of the door for a long moment, holding Joan tightly in her arms, staring at the frame and the doorbell.

- - - -

Mary stands in front of the door for a long momentCollapse )

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/598758.html

More Thoughts for H50 4.05 “Kupuʻeu”

oy vey
These are slightly more meta in nature so bear with me, there will be some bitching regarding the direction the show decided to take the whole Billy plot.

Let me first begin that I have to give kudos to the show because they decided to fridge a man in order to give a woman angst. It’s very rare that it happens that way (usually it’s woman dies and man angsts) and it would have made an interesting moment on an otherwise very conservative show.

Alas, did anyone care about Billy?

If you did, then I’m sorry he died. I didn’t care, nor did a great many people. Many cared about Governor Jameson, many care about Jenna Kaye, a great very many cared about Malia (whose death is the most comparable to Billy’s).

It’s debatable as to whether Pat Jameson or Jenna had to die (I don’t think they needed to, personally), but I think it’s blatantly clear that Malia, as a character, did not need to be killed off in order to motivate Chin. And considering that part of Chin has been left utterly untouched and unexplored, Malia’s death was also superfluous.

This is what will happen with Billy, only worse.

Unlike Malia, whose relationship with Chin was cultivated over two seasons and her death was gutting (and fucking unnecessary), Billy was introduced at the end of S3 and was basically slammed by the two male leads throughout his entire existence.

How am I supposed to care about him, because Cath cares? Cath barely talked about him, most of our information about Billy came from Steve (who gave Billy the side eye at the end of 4.04) and well, the emotional arc was mediocre.

Throughout the ep once he’s dead, Billy’s worthiness of love and emotional connection was completely reliant on his status as a SEAL and hero. Cath’s angst would have been moving had their relationship actually been developed and not talked about in a maligning way by Danny (a wholly unnecessary character assassination that brought us absolutely nowhere).

So will there be character development for Cath? I doubt it, because frigding only pushes a character so far.

The attempt to create a moving and meaningful moment for Cath fell flat because the writing deflected what could have been an actual adult relationship between exes, into silly soap opera “Love Triangle” drama to create tension that never existed.

Do better show and give us some actual meat to chew on.

Tumblr crosspost

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/597783.html
strength & conviction
Joe and Danny’s scene was superb, superb, superb. In your smug face, Joe. Danny’s loyalty and compassion are impenetrable to your manipulation and instrumentalism! MAWHAHAH!

I think if there’s one thing that got pummelled into us today is that every one of Steve’s parental figures is a horrible human being. Doris, because ultimately the fact that she wanted to be a mother doesn’t mean she was actually cut out for it. Jack, for abandoning his kids once Doris decided she’d rather have adventures than be a teacher and full time mom. Joe, for his manipulative ulterior motives and using Steve like a tool for his own gains.

Always with making Steve a tool and making him feel worthless, huh, parental units.

Chin shouting at Kono to get out moved me a lot. Chin’s eyes, my god, berserk and worried and he’d fly to Hong Kong right now if he could.

The sat-phone is the most obvious thing in the world, the Yakuza could have snatched her right there, seriously.

However, I was mainly bored by this episode.

I wasn’t interested in Billy. I’m not interested in Cath. I’m not interested in Steve/Cath, so the focus of the ep and the procedural left me distracted.

Oh, except when Steve espoused his stupid sexist ideas regarding motive (“Woman scored” and “unrequited love”?). Seriously show, seriously. A little humanity is all I ask for.

And then I got angry about the Navy and the Military and the fact that show loves them a little too much.

Cut for unpopular opinionsCollapse )

Tumblr crosspost

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/597710.html
fatherly love
I think this is the first episode of the season that made me truly happy.

If fact I was so happy I actually posted a short incoherent tumblr entry that included this image:



Yes, that's how fucking ridiculous I felt about this episode, or more specifically, about Danny in this episode.

Because he fucking rocked.

SpoilersCollapse )

Tumblr Crosspost

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/597292.html

Good Things in H50 4.03

compassion & kindness
Danny held a baby. He also gave her a stuffed monkey that used to belong to Grace. He called the baby a monkey.

Chin went to band camp. He plays the trumpet. He likes Jazz music.

Max and Steve are bffs, of course they are.

There was a fuck tonne of X-Files references and Jerry called Danny ‘Scully’. This warmed the cockles of my cold heart immensely.

And that’s what I liked.

I might write about the rest later on, but probably not, because I’ve cried enough as it is.

Tumblr crosspost

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/597156.html
bullshit
I'm not bothering to cut for spoilers, because this won't be long and there won't be that many specifics because I'm just too angry to go into detail

I seriously can't hear you over the sound of the steam rushing out of my ears what with my fury over this fucking episode.

Every single one of the men (except Chin, because obviously his opinion doesn't count over anything other than the technology) can go die in a fucking fire. Billy, I want you dead. Steve, you're an asshole. Danny, I want to lop of your head and play football with it.

I don't know what John Dove, the writer of this episode, was masturbating too when he was writing this garbage, but he should keep his stupid, sexist and misogynistic fantasies out of my show.

For the love of fucking god, will you let Catherine be more than a cardboard cut out? Please? I'm begging you here.

The baseball was cute. That's about it. It was about the only time in the ep that I felt Danny was in character, that and the "hey, stupid" moment. Plot wise, yeah, Wo Fat, whatever, do we care at this point? I mean, seriously, do we?

Gracie is a peewee baseball motor and that was lovely. Did not save the episode, but it was lovely.

I seriously can't think of anything constructive to say. Kono continues to be badass and there to make sure Adam lives. I can't care about him.

This ep is a write off for me along with 3.20 and the LA Crossover. I just can't with character assassination. I can't.

Tumblr crosspost

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/596829.html

Sinead and Miley

diana disapproves
I wrote many tweets about Sinead O'Connor's Open Letter to Miley Cyrus, that looking back should have been a proper post.

Here are the tweets I wrote regarding this whole sordid affair.

The more I read Sinead's letter to Miley, the more I see that Sinead is talking specifically about her own personal experience & pain. 1:44pm - 4th of Oct 2013

I don't like what she wrote all that much. I'm pretty sure Miley Cyrus is incredibly isolated & thinks she's revolutionary & edgy. 1:45pm - 4th of Oct 2013

I think Sinead is protective to a fault when it comes to women artists & is blinkered regarding the way public sexual expression doesn't - 1:46pm - 4th of Oct 2013

- have to mean sexual exploitation. Sinead herself has always done what she wanted when it came to sexuality, candidly so. 1:47pm - 4th of Oct 2013

I also think Sinead herself was/is very vulnerable in a way that Miley perhaps isn't. Miley doesn't do anything rebellious. 1:50pm - 4th of Oct 2013

Miley is provocative in the titillating sense, her representation of femininity and beauty are extraordinarily conservative. 1:51pm - 4th of Oct 2013

Add to that her appropriation & objectification of black women's bodies, you have a whole lot of white supremacist entitlement. 1:55pm - 4th of Oct 2013

Sinead could have worded her open letter better than she did. I think Miley Cyrus proves she's an entitled brat. 1:58pm - 4th of Oct 2013

What surprised me the most about Sinead's letter is the fact that there was no mention of Miley's racism. 2:01pm - 4th of Oct 2013

Considering Sinead herself has spoken against racism multiple times in her music & in interviews. 2:01pm - 4th of Oct 2013

Sinead's slut shaming and whorephobia of Miley is wrong. And that lives side by side with Sinead's other points. 2:07pm - 4th of Oct 2013

It's obvious that I love Sinead & disdain Miley. I'm okay with that, I've always loved problematic things & I'll always disdain racists. 2:14pm - 4th of Oct 2013

Not to mention racists who think mocking someone's mental health is fucking hilarious. [TW] Miley Cyrus Mocks Sinead O'Connor: 'Before Amanda Bynes There Was...' 2:15 - 4th of Oct 2013


And that's what I tweeted. Amanda Palmer also wrote an open letter to Sinead about Miley Cyrus, to which I tweeted:

Read Sinead's letter, read Amanda's letter. Still haven't read any white woman "Open Lettering" Miley to quit with her racist shenanigans. 12:45am - 4th of Oct 2013


Why is Miley Cyrus the hub of contention at this point in pop culture? What's she done, other than grow up isolated and entitled to deserve this kind of attention? I resent that I know so much about Cyrus when I have no interest in her music and persona, I really do.

She shouldn't be slut shamed, and Sinead's whorephobia should be accounted for, it disappoints me that Sinead can't find room for sex work and sex workers in her feminist point of view. I also don't think Miley Cyrus represents any kind of real feminism.

Her performance in the VMA awards really brought to a head her callous use of black women's bodies as props and as property, and it also brought to a head that she performs mainly for white women, utterly eschewing a persona that is in any way viable for the (white) male gaze, because if you look at the white men and boys in the audience of that performance, they are incredibly uncomfortable, while the white women and girls are chair dancing to her performance.

Her "sexual awakening" is a cultural moment, the same way Brittany Spears shaving her head was, white girls taking ownership of their bodies and their sexuality in a way that rocks a very unsteady boat of white women's agency in culture.

I think Sinead's own experience and her past railing against the music industry blinker her to the fact that Miley Cyrus is doing whatever the hell she wants in a way that may or may not be harmful to Cyrus, but is harmful to black women.

Miley Cyrus' reaction was heinous and disgusting, mocking Sinead's mental health and breakdown in 2012 is not something I feel is an appropriate reaction to anything.

Both Sinead and Cyrus are problematic is different ways, I don't much care about Cyrus, as she seems not to have a care in the world. I don't really care how she decides to express herself and while Sinead's policing is misguided and wrong, Sinead has been burned badly by an industry she views as evil. Does that excuse Sinead's slut shaming and whorephobia, no it most certainly does not, but I don't think that that position negates the work she's done previously and the care she has with regards to women and the way they are represented in the media.

More and more it seems that other white women are overly concerned with policing Cyrus' sexual expression, whether it's by slut shaming or by saying she has the right to express herself anyway she damn well pleases.

It's a double edged sword trying to talk about this, and it irks me that Cyrus is currently at the epicentre of this, because while yes she does have the right to express herself however she damn pleases, there is such a thing called accountability and she doesn't have an ounce of it.

Maybe that's why I'm willing to continue loving Sinead even as I side-eye her. She's went through actions that rocked the boat and was held accountable at the great personal and professional cost, she kicked up and was burned.

Cyrus kicks down. Therein lies the difference.

Tumblr crosspost

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/596703.html
tickled pink
I haven't written a post episode meta review in a while, so please bear with me.

Cut for spoilersCollapse )

Tumblr Crosspost

Crossposts: http://eumelia.dreamwidth.org/596242.html

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V and Justice

V: Ah, I was forgetting that we are not properly introduced. I do not have a name. You can call me V. Madam Justice...this is V. V... this is Madam Justice. hello, Madam Justice.

Justice: Good evening, V.

V: There. Now we know each other. Actually, I've been a fan of yours for quite some time. Oh, I know what you're thinking...

Justice: The poor boy has a crush on me...an adolescent fatuation.

V: I beg your pardon, Madam. It isn't like that at all. I've long admired you...albeit only from a distance. I used to stare at you from the streets below when I was a child. I'd say to my father, "Who is that lady?" And he'd say "That's Madam Justice." And I'd say "Isn't she pretty."

V: Please don't think it was merely physical. I know you're not that sort of girl. No, I loved you as a person. As an ideal.

Justice: What? V! For shame! You have betrayed me for some harlot, some vain and pouting hussy with painted lips and a knowing smile!

V: I, Madam? I beg to differ! It was your infidelity that drove me to her arms!

V: Ah-ha! That surprised you, didn't it? You thought I didn't know about your little fling. But I do. I know everything! Frankly, I wasn't surprised when I found out. You always did have an eye for a man in uniform.

Justice: Uniform? Why I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. It was always you, V. You were the only one...

V: Liar! Slut! Whore! Deny that you let him have his way with you, him with his armbands and jackboots!

V: Well? Cat got your tongue? I though as much.

V: Very well. So you stand revealed at last. you are no longer my justice. You are his justice now. You have bedded another.

Justice: Sob! Choke! Wh-who is she, V? What is her name?

V: Her name is Anarchy. And she has taught me more as a mistress than you ever did! She has taught me that justice is meaningless without freedom. She is honest. She makes no promises and breaks none. Unlike you, Jezebel. I used to wonder why you could never look me in the eye. Now I know. So good bye, dear lady. I would be saddened by our parting even now, save that you are no longer the woman I once loved.

*KABOOM!*

-"V for Vendetta"

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