Not Anonymous

You know that HIV can be found in tears

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 15:02:55 GMT

But in very small amounts.

I was watching the first part of Stephen Fry's documentary HIV and Me (2007).

During this episode he goes to South Africa (which still has the most appalling policy when it comes to HIV/AIDS even though over 25% of the population is infected - the majority of infections pass through unprotected heterosexual sexual encounters. In South Africa this it's not a "Gay Disease" and never was - but the stigma remains.

While there, Stephen Fry meets journalist and AIDS activist Lucky Mazibuko who takes him on an excursion to a school in which he gives an informative lecture to little kids.

On the wall of their class there were two slogans:
Being HIV positive is not a curse.

Being HIV positive is normal

As I watched I felt very moved by the sight of these kids speaking so candidly about safe sex and how you can't HIV/AIDS from touching someone, kissing someone, sharing food with someone, etc.

And then Mr. Mazimbuko brings out a t-shirt that says: I am leading the way to an AIDS free world, referring of course, to these well-informed kids who live the reality of the disease along with Mr. Mazimbuko.

I promptly burst into tears.

How pathetic am I?

You can find the documentary in very good quality on YouTube, link to the first part of the first episode (out of two) here.

Yesterday, I had an on-line discussion about my paranoia about getting pregnant due to the truly woman un-friendly procedures pregnant women have to go through in order to obtain a legal abortion.
STD's were never something I was concerned about because every sexual encounter I ever had been with a condom (if it were with a man) and knowing my partner's history (if I were with a woman - yeah, those were not always as safe as they should be).
Lesbian sex has the lowest risk factor when it comes to contracting HIV/AIDS - that doesn't mean you are safe - especially if you have sores on your genitalia, mouth or a cut on your hands or some such.

Dental dams are not as available as they should be (which is bloody irritating) - and they're not just for Dykes y'all!

Any way. AIDS is a year round issue, not just Documentaries, Movies and Stories. It's an epidemic that is constantly on the rise.

The Israel AIDS Task Force says the number of infected in 2009 is expected to rise - currently there are an estimated 6,275 infected people some of whom are unaware of their status.
Number of people with HIV reaches all-time high in 2009.

On a less preachy note; I remember hearing about AIDS for the first time when I heard that Tom Hanks won the Oscar for his performance in Philadelphia.
That was 1993, I was 8.
I did not understand what AIDS was until I was in the 10th grade (I was 15 and the year was 2000) in which we had a sex-ed class and were were given little notes that has + and - written on them.
We were told to walk around the class in a random way, to keep one note and give out a note to other kids that we randomly encountered.
After that we sat down and the sex-ed educator asked everyone who had a + note to stand up. I and a great many other kids stood up and were told that we were now infected with HIV.

The sex-ed classes were pretty good in explaining how to have safe-sex, that a condom fits everyone and a boy who says the rubber "doesn't fit" is lying - which was hilarious to see all those cocky boys squirm in their seats.
That little experiment left a sour taste in my mouth as it could have been any STD, which is was the educator said, but the example used was AIDS.

In this same class (we had about three, if I recall correctly) there was talk about homosexuality which made me so freakin' uncomfortable. Homophobia was rampant and I was 15 and just realising I was "not like everybody else".
The fact that everyone was saying that AIDS could only occur between two men and all that, which the educator contradicted expertly I must add, but that didn't stop the crass homophobia after class.
It was depressing.

I wish I knew what the state of sex-education in high schools are today - ten years down the line - I can't think it's much changed.

I'm not judging, it's just my opinion

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 22:50:43 GMT

I am in the opinion that Patriarchy and its siblings Heteronormativity and White supremacy are the roots of evil in our times.

Just in case any of you had any doubt about that.

I just came back from the "Stop Violence Against Women" march and it was good.
We were not that many, because this is a chauvinist country.
The speeches after were very inspiring.

I and a few others then went to get some supper at a pizza place. There was a whole lot of talk about political theory, uni studies, feminism etc.

In the end there appeared to be some kind of combat between neo-Marxist thought and Post-Modernism (of which there was a gross misunderstanding). It was very Bubbly in the sense that "we are living in a bubble", which I'm cool with seeing as us "bubble people" actually went to the march in order to raise awareness that violence against women - it happens, it's societal disease and it needs to be stopped.

There was also talk about Politically Correctness, a term and though process I abhor and how, even as an ally, I really shouldn't use words that do not belong to me. Call me old-fashioned.

Also, there's really no shame in admitting you're bourgeoisie if you, ya know, living that lifestyle. My politics are radical, but my life is liberal, that's the way it is, why should I hide it or be ashamed of it?

One of the girls we sat with had to catch the same bus as me and we continued to talk and oh my god it was awful.
Just so you know, she irritated me.
A lot.

I have a button (I have many) on my bag that reads "Sex is the Question - sex is not the answer - "Yes" is the Answer" (yes I know it's a play on the Nickleback lyrics) which to me is a sex-positive slogan akin to "Yes is Yes" which is just as valid as "No is No".
Anyway, this girl asked me about it and I told her the above and she said:
"You need to be careful with that term [pro-sex], it can be taken to mean you're pro prostitution and stuff like that"
I replied: "Well, I am pro-sex work and pro-porn"
And OMG!
I had never heard such cookie cutter Second Wave Paternalistic bullshit come out of someone younger than me - pardon the ageism, but that's impressive in a horrifying way!
I tried to say that sex-work isn't just human trafficking and crack whores and pimped women.
Her reply: It's all False Conciousness.
In my head I'm going - OMG!
I say: There's queer and alt porn.
She goes: It reproduces the same oppressive mechanism as mainstream porn. It's the same objectification.
I say: There's BDSM that enables you to play with the oppressive power structure and have a good time at the same time.
She goes: BDSM reproduces the power structure, why would you want to do something that humiliates you?

I wanted to kill her and myself.

I really couldn't talk to her any more, because really, it showed such a lack of understanding of what a power structure actually is, that hierarchy is a daily and hourly thing we live and work with our entire lives and that kink does not mean there isn't an actual partnership or that an unequal partnership automatically means there isn't consent!

Because that's what bothers me the most about the Dworkin and MacKinnon types - I really like the way they theorised Patriarchy and Phallocentrism, the tools they offer are awesome, also MacKinno is a brilliant speaker - but if you take their entire thesis you end up saying: women have no ability to consent in the system that we currently live, because there's nothing but False Conciousness.

Yeah, no thanks.

Last night I was everything I'm not

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 12:17:26 GMT

Last night was a big mess when it came to be trying to deflect racism, homophobia and sexism.

I dunno what was in the air, but it was irritating.

I had to tell people to stop codifying Islam with "terrorism". I had to tell people that gay people in the States do not want "special rights" when it comes to same-sex marriage. I had to defend this "assimilationist" strategy - when I personally would like to see marriage abolished - because the "LGBT Community" isn't campaigning for separating the 1000+ rights automatically given with marriage and would rather just reproduce straight ideals - this is all coming from straight people by the way.
I had to tell people to stop using racial slurs when describing a black service person - and then went on to "Politically Correct" the language by instead of using racial slurs to say "African" in a very un-ambiguous way while looking at me in irritation.

Thank you for being an asshole.

Someone tried to convince themselves that going to a strip club wasn't contributing to the sex industry in the same way going to a prostitute.
I was shot down time after time when I tried to explain that the only thing you're doing by not going to a prostitute is not paying for sex with a prostitute. Going to a strip club is still contributing to the industry.

Then I'm told that some women chose to work in the sex industry.

I did not mention anything about who chooses to do what! Honestly, sex-work is real work! Just because I'd rather see it sans exploitation and sans human trafficking doesn't mean I am anti-sex work or anti-sex workers!

I think the main issue isn't the fact that women chose to do sex-work (and should be paid accordingly), but the fact that the sex-industry is so bloody duplicitous when it comes to what is legal and what isn't - more accurately, the law regarding the sex-industry is so duplicitous and because there is such a problem of comprehending the difference between legalisation (which often causes just as many problems as it being illegal) and decriminalisation.

Actual sex workers have better and more info on the subject.

All in all, it was an irritating evening in which my family and friends made me feel like a bloody fuddy-duddy, a Politically Correctness-Fiend and an anti pro-sex advocate!
Arrrgh!
But there's no doubt in anyone's mind that I'm pro-porn (which I am, though I'd rather, like other sections of the sex-industry, had a little more respect for its workers and consumers).

*sigh*

Such is the life of the pro-sex, anti-racist, queer feminist student of Literary Theory and Women's studies, I suppose.

"There's something wrong with this picture"

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 14:27:51 GMT

On Wednesday the 25th, Bibi offered a 10 month settlement freeze.

This morning I read that Israel okays the building of 28 new houses in the Settlements.

Its so ridiculous I'd laugh. Alas, it's just too tragic for words.

This in itself isn't surprising seeing as in the "freeze" announcement itself (in the article linked above) East Jerusalem isn't included in the areas in which construction is to be frozen. In case you didn't know, there have been multiple cases of evictions of Palestinian families from the neighbourhood of Sheikh Jarrah in Jerusalem approx. since August of this year - well, this has been going on for a while, except the families in question put up a fight - there is still no clear outcome.

Anyway, it's no surprise that East Jerusalem isn't included, seeing as Israel is very keen on keeping the "United City" (fuck that's ironic) as, um, homogeneous - is that a good word for this? - as possible.

The 28 new homes - all for the Israeli Jews' "natural growth" of course - while at the same time meandering in evicting six settlements.
After they were court ordered to get a move on in that department.

Did you know that since 1948 there have been no new Arab towns and that the existing ones have not been expanded with the help of the government and municipal funds like the rest of the Israeli towns and cities - and every new building and/or addition to an existing building is of course by default illegal and thus torn down.
Unrecognised villages, means that these already disenfranchised people get absolutely nothing for, you know, being citizens of this country..

This isn't in the West Bank.

And I don't even want to get started on the huge amount of destroyed, re-named and re-settled villages that existed prior to the State's existence.

Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture.

The hypocrisy is just too much sometimes.

The Meme That is Everywhere!

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:59:28 GMT

This is like the convergence of all things good in pop-culture.
My hope in people has been momentarily restored.

Oh Kermit... *sigh*

And yes, when I was little my brother used to call me Miss Piggy *HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH*

Exclusion in the name of "the general public"

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:41:44 GMT

If you are an Israeli gay guy; Independence Park in Tel Aviv will resonate in you in a way that doesn't for other people.
It is a large patch of greenery on near the beach, it's benches, trees and bushes.

The first time I ever went there, I was about 15 and scared out of my mind, there are barely any street lamps and I was pretty much thought I was going to be assaulted.
Luckily I was with a bunch of friends who told me, with a bit of humour, that I would not be approached by any man in this park.

The penny dropped.

Independence Park has a huge amount of baggage when it comes to queer culture - so much that a book has been written about it.

Now the #1 "unofficial" cruising spot is being yoinked from our hands:

T.A. gay community says city trying to evict them from cruising site
[...]
Now, community members say, the Tel Aviv municipality is trying to evict them from the park - installing stronger lighting, getting rid of bushes and trees, and increasing harassment by municipal patrols.

Visitors say that for the last two months, city inspectors have been blocking them from entering areas with shrubbery.

Harassment, by the way, is nothing new.
Obviously, this is not a place for queer women to go cruising, but I know from my gay men friends who have been harassed more often than not by police, that they've often been caught "with their pants down" though they're usually just been shoved around and not arrested for indecency or something like that.
The uprooting of trees and bushes is not something I'd heard of before and I find this worrying. I've always been comforted by the fact the the majority if litter found in the park (and the University parking lot) are used condoms - safe sex is awesome you guys!

The article continues:

The new policy is divisive even within the LGBT community itself, as some of its leaders sided with city hall. Yaniv Weizmann, founder of the Proud Youth organization and a city council member, told Haaretz that the park's historic role was over.

"The community has matured," he said. "We can walk around in broad daylight in Tel Aviv. Something that was relevant when we were a persecuted and oppressed community is no longer relevant today."

Emphasis mine.

What utter, utter bullshit.
I love it how cis gay men in positions of power presume to tell other queers what it means to persecuted and oppressed now.
Especially when we've just had Transgender Day of Remembrance.
Maybe you can walk in broad daylight mister city council member - a bunch of kids who part of your Proud Youth org cannot.

Others see establishment leaders like Weizmann as traitors to the cause.

"There's a coalition of homophobic straights and lush, fat, bourgeois gays who forget where they come from," said Lior Kay, who heads Hadash's Red-Pink forum. "They forgot how they, as petrified teenagers, would sneak off to Independence Park.

"If Weizmann wants to be a representative, he should be representing all of us, not just people who stepped out of the closet and into a penthouse," he said.

I'm glad they put both "sides" in this teeny-tiny article that no one but us queers are going to read about and actually give a damn.
Most straight people will not even realise what this means.
I'll tell you what it means, it means more persecution of gay people, restricting the movement and historical accessibility of gay people and basically policing gay people's behaviour into what is believed to be for the benefit of the "general public".
'Cause gays, obviously, are NOT a part of the general public and why should they (we) even think of retaining some kind of cultural history, am I right?

Director Zohar Kaniel, who frequents the park, believes the municipality's measures will not deter people.

"I don't want to go and pay money to meet people in some club or sauna. As a cruising spot, this place predates the state itself. You have parks like this one even in the most retrograde of countries. When I see a straight couple making out I don't bother them, so why should anyone bother me?"

Emphasis mine.

Israel has been showing a great regression when it comes to tolerating sexual minorities - not that I think we've ever been that great, but really this is plain ridiculous.
Especially in Tel-Aviv which has had a bad few months when it comes to its queer citizens.

Tel Aviv municipality said, "Over the last week, we witnessed activity in the park that appears to be illegal. Law enforcement authorities were instructed to take care of that activity, to allow the entire public to enjoy the park. We should stress there's no policy of driving away the gay community, but merely maintaining the park, just like all other parks in the city."

It just so happens that, de facto, the Tel-Aviv municipality is enacting homophobic legislation.
God, why is the city I plan to live in one day - at least for a bit - deciding to suck so hard?

This Art is for Buying!

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:07:29 GMT

My dear friend tamara_russo has opened up an Etsy Store: The Seagull's Aery.

It's her beautiful mixed media canvas art and photography.

In addition, if you do chose to love her art as much as I do and have the funds (which I don't) to buy her art you'll be supporting one of the best people on Earth.
Go check it out!

Sex, Gender and Race, OH MY GOD SHUT UP!

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 13:01:12 GMT

Okay.
You all know what I think about the whole Caster Semenya debacle, because that is exactly what it is.

It being the day after Transgender Day of Rememberence and the News about her so-called innocence coming out the day before, is all a convergence of an issue of which there is little to no awareness in the mainstream media.

Gender variance.
Beyond that, treating gender, sexuality, physical and mental abilities as though they are some kind of moral compasses for people.

The fact that the Guardian article linked above states:

South Africa's government, Semenya's lawyers and the IAAF had reached total agreement that she will retain her gold medal, title and prize money because she has been found "innocent of any wrong", the ministry said in a statement.

Emphasis mine.

What, exactly, was her crime? Surely, she was publicly tried and put through hell... but there was no criminal trial in which she had to stand on a podium and claim her innocence of anything.
I'll tell you what her "crime" was.
She won the race. Her opponents ate her dust. Her body is strong, big and built to run as Dave Zirin wrote in the article Standing with Caster.
That - Those - were her crimes.
Her public offences.

Because she doesn't look as feminine as women are "supposed to", her entire life, and career, was ruined for running too fast for a woman.
It really should go without saying that African women and women of African descent have always been under the suspicion of not being feminine enough - or on the flip-side, being overtly sexual.
So, not only was Semenya too good as a woman athlete, she was not good enough as an African woman who is supposed to be all curves and pliant flesh on which to be colonised.

There is a reason the first "foul play" cries came from her White European opponents^*.
They could not believe that a woman beat them with such a huge margin.
Obviously, she had to be a man.

The fact that her family feels the need to attest and confirm her sex ("female") is just too terrible for words. Her very identity was put into question, her body was presented as a freak show for having a advantage which makes her the supreme athlete that she is.

She gets to keep her medal, I wonder how much of a consolation that is for the loss of dignity she has had to put up with for the four months.

The findings of her ~~gender~~ sex tests will remain confidential, as the whole speculation whether or not she is Intersex was a leak to the press.
We will never know and you know what... it's none of our business!
Really.
Let's get over this, because when you begin to question another person's gender you are basically saying: "You are a liar", "You are a freak", "Your identity is a failure".
How do I know this? Seeing as I'm cisgender and gender-conforming in my appearance.
#1 There was a time I wasn't gender-conforming in my looks.
#2 I do my best to listen to people.

Friends, #2 isn't that hard.

I know that as I've gotten more politically vocal I've been told (by various people) that I'm intolerant of other people's opinions, that I'm rigid in my views, that I'm un-accepting.
I wonder if the various people who tell me these things realise that huge swaths of the population whose voice is routinely silenced.

People who have a greater chance of being raped and murdered simply by walking out the door.

Because Caster Semenya supposedly didn't look like a woman "should", the mainstream media had no qualms about turning into Yellow Journalism over her bits and instead of reporting about this great breach of privacy, and colossal mistreatment and humiliation of a champion athlete, they went along with the sensationalism of what a person may or may not have between their legs.
Because there are men and women and people who are neither who chose the live their lives with integrity, how they see fit and not through the "M" or "F" that was issued to them at birth... they are silenced, brutalised and killed.

Silence is violence.

Speak Up!

Footnotes:
* Even though the Silver went to Kenyan Janeth Jepkosgei Busienei - but she only had 0.3 seconds over Bronze medallist Jenny Meadows of the UK, that's a "normal" margin... not a whole 2.45 seconds! That's crazy... Info from wiki.
Back to text.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:11:54 GMT

Yesterday there was a march in honour of the victims of hate.

It was a pretty standard turn out for the March we were a little less than 100 people, made up of Trans folk and their Cissy Allies (hello there).
The march was set to start on the street of the shooting in August, which made the whole situation a whole lot more loaded emotionally of course.

The way to the march was a bloody disaster, you see, there was a different demonstration happening along the same main streets and we had to wait for it to pass.
The police was all set for that demonstration and basically decided that they would use the same personnel and the same garrisons for both marches.

One march was for Trans awareness, basically.
The other was for protesting the cut of the Disability Pension for IDF Veterans.

Yeah.
Talk about a "clash of civilisations" - one portion of the population that isn't drafted and another that pays the price for it.
*sigh*

As I said, getting to our march was a bloody disaster because the police garrisoned a bunch of main streets which we had to drive through, we also had to drive through the stragglers of the disabled vets march.

We drove through the entirety of central Tel Aviv on the busiest evening of the week, on the evening of a demo that nobody gave a shit about.
Two demos that nobody gave a shit about.

I didn't see anything other than Updates (as in not actual reporting) on the online mainstream news websites.

Of course, once we got to the Gay Community centre the police told us to go through the back so that we don't disturb the other demo.
Even when they're being fucked over by because they're disabled, there's still a hierarchy.

Both population are silenced and made invisible.
Both population intersect - I wouldn't be surprised if there were vets there who were Trans and there was certainly more than one marcher with us who had mechanic (crutches, wheelchair) aid.

Both populations are fucked over.

Still, it was obvious who were more respected by the police - the Disabled Vets didn't "chose" to be freaks and they're "genuinely" screwed over by the government.
Of course.

Sometimes I really feel the people in power just look down on us, eat and throw the crumbs down to see the fights brew.
It's depressing.

Caster Semenya is... innocent?

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:51:44 GMT

She gets to keep her medal.

More on this and other crap tomorrow, because folks... this is not just about Semenya.

Things that still manage to surprise me

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:15:23 GMT

This morning I got an apology from a class-mate.

I was honestly speechless.

Last week in class, Intro to Anthropology Exercise, in which spirits rose because were were discussing polygamy, marriage and all that.
The article we read had a description of a polygamous household of the Tib [sp?] tribe in an Anfircan country that may or may not still exist - the article is from the late 50's if I'm not mistaken - in which the Wives (who call each other Sister) tell the anthropologist that they take care of each other, help each other out with their children.
The first wife is "given" to the husband by her father, all the other consequent wives the First Wife choses.

I'm like, human commodification, not so different from traditional marriages in Judaism (well, contemporary ones in these parts, the woman doesn't even get to look at the Ketubah - marriage contract).

Any way - I was shocked that so many of my female class-mates said that they were really convinced by the women living in a polygamous house-hold, that they wouldn't mind having that kind of sisterhood.

In my mind I'm went: OMG! WHAT?!?! Do you not see!?!?

What I said was: Hello, human commodification!
And some guy replied: You're really exaggerating! You know that's what they say about Marriage in Judaism?
I replied: Yes, that's why a bride costs 2 cents (2 prutot), because she isn't being bought!

He went on a bit about how what marriage was and wasn't, while I'm being called out on being waaaaaay radical about marriage.

Bullshit, of course.

Any way, today the guy with whom I argued last week apologized for his attitude and for being over aggressive.

See me be gobsmacked!

I told a friend about this this morning and she said don't let it get it out that men who behave nicely make you speechless.
Funny, haha.
I'm just not used to twenty-something men (sometimes boys) to actually take responsibility for stuff said in class.
No doubt he thought he was doing the gentlemanly thing, which I'm cool with when it is sans condescension and patronising (I can be a gentleman too!) - but wow, it was just so weird.

Regardless, it's weird being in this class, where I feel I'm gaining new perspective! But damn am I ahead of the class when it comes to theory and critical thought. I'm not bragging here - I'm a bloody Third Year taking an intro class... *sigh* Well, that's the cake I baked from the eggs that I broke.

Knowledge Good! Censorship Bad!

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:37:56 GMT

What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit?

View 1431 Answers

Quoi?
What kind of internet user thinks up these questions?

In short, I wouldn't ban any book. Really. No, not even The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, not Mein Kampf, not Huckleberry Finn.
Not any hate-mongering, free-love-ing, right wing, left wing... what have you.

That doesn't mean I'm not going to tell the kid who may or may not be interested in a book to be aware that every book presents and represents a certain stand-point and that it's usually better to be not take every piece of writing at face value.

Literary merit is for book critics, not for critical analysis.

I'd prefer to steer teens towards work that doesn't implicitly (or explicitly) state that some people are more human than others - because that would just make me a hypocrite. But I think that disallowing those subjects simply make it harder to fight and oppose the ideas and ideals which exist - having them where you can see them, makes it easier to argue and fight against.

That's what I think.

The Waters of Mars: My Initial Reaction Post

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:31:35 GMT

I've just come home from viewing the most recent Doctor Who special The Waters of Mars.

In a word: Damn! (or *squee*!!!)

In many more words: First thing's first - Bowie Station?!
For reals!?!

How geeky are the Whovian writers?

Second of all, please tell me I'm not the only one who noticed the Elemental pattern and focus in this year's specials - The Next Doctor was Fire, Planet of the Dead was Earth and The Waters of Mars was... well...
Makes you wonder what the ep (of which the trailer was fucking brilliant, y/y) is going to focus on.

I feel that this episode was a much better portrayal of the Doctor's character than the other specials earlier this year.
Not just that the portrayal was more authentic, there was also a whole lot more connection with the previous seasons on Nu-Who; from the space suit that he wore in The Impossible Planet and The Satan Pit - whoa, was there a huge amount of intertext of that in this episode - to the Fixed Point/Time in Flux dichotomy that seems to get more messed up as we draw closer to the end of his song
(The Ood always creep me out, and the Doctor, as well they should).

There was a whole lot of channelling of the Master here, but unlike the Master - who is meant to be this way - I felt that the Doctor was merely cracking up.
And when I say cracking up, I mean that I feel he has reached a certain breaking point and he has no one to anchor him. If there's something the specials over the past year have shown it's that the Doctor works better when he has a companion who can give him a little perspective.

Referencing The Fires of Pompeii - through the name and the action on screen - we see Donna's influence, arguably the most influential of the Companions intellectually and socially (if only because she's the only one out of Nu-Who ones that wasn't/isn't in love with the Doctor), but it's so utterly twisted - because in Fires... Donna acts out of compassion and empathy (both things the Doctor -Ten- does his best to emulate though he doesn't actually grok it).
In Waters by contrast, the Doctor decides to save those who are meant to die out of a sense of grandeur and because he can.

Deux Et Machina never rang so true.

The fact that Captain Brooke died any way, after the Doctor proved that he was a Lord of Time - not just a regular dime a dozen Time Lord - because beyond him being the Last, he is the Only - I think that's the Fourth Knock.

I feel there's a Robert Oppenheimer thing going on in the episode as well, but I'm finding it difficult to put my finger on it.
Perhaps it's the notion that through Death, Hope can prevail.

I hope that wasn't too incoherent!
I will try gather more and better thoughts on this over the next few days.

In the meantime *fangrrl SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

I couldn't resist

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:45:45 GMT

lishablog asked me five questions... these are my answers:

When did you decide to study Women's Studies?

Well, even since I was in High School I knew I was going to study literature. That's what I expanded for my matriculation and that's what I love more than anything.

I started becoming interested in academic feminism when I was in the US and there were whole sections for "Women's Studies" in the huge and in the little indie book shops and I had no idea what they were on about.

So I googled and read up on the history of Women's Studies and Gender Studies and Queer Theory and I was hooked!
I then started looking into how I could study Lit and that WS at the same time for my BA in Israel.

The rest, as they say, is history (present and future, of course).

Are you planning to continue on in academia, or do you have other plans after you get your BA?

At the moment I am not planning to continue in academia. I'd much rather have that as a hobby than as a job. What I've been thinking of for the past few years, on and off, though currently I'm looking into it more seriously is getting a Librarian's certificate and working as a Librarian.
It fits well with my ideals that knowledge be uncensored and easily accessible to all.

Also, Librarians are sexy.

What is it you like most about Israel?

It's difficult for me to articulate, not because there isn't a whole lot to love, but because there is so much that I love.
I love the fact that everyone here is insane, but thinks our lives are utterly normal.
I love the sea (the Mediterranean), I love the food, I love that our culture is this weird fusion of Levant, Euro-Trash and Americana.
That almost all our swear words are Arabic, Russian and Yiddish - because the Hebrew ones are merely Biblical.
I love...
Oh, but you asked what I like and not what I love.

Well, in the regard, Israel is a bit like an over-bearing parents... you don't really like them, you sort of have to put up with 'em. But you love them anyway.
Even though you see them treat your other siblings like crap.

You've talked before about bisexuals being the invisible group in the queer community. Do you feel disconnected from the community in general if you aren't in a relationship with a woman at that time?

I've always felt more a part of a queer community rather than straight society, possibly simply as a part of the outsiderness I've always felt, possibly simply because the energy coming from the people in those communities felt better to me.

Even when I am with a man I am queer, which I feel kept me connected with that world, so while there is indeed an issue of visibility and biphobia within the LGBTQ community - I still feel more welcome there than in straight society - in which I'm considered a deviant.
Going to Lesbian events don't make me feel excluded any more than Gay events make me feel excluded - both kinds of events and atmospheres have something to offer me as a queer person.

Being with a woman mainly showed me and taught me how arbitrary the whole concept of privilege is.
It's an ugly and harsh reality and one that in the queer community I can better navigate, because while I'm not a total "lesbian" or completely "gay"... I am those things sometimes.
Because as a bisexual person, I'm always queer whether it "looks" like I'm straight or gay.

Do you believe that it's possible to wipe out "white privilege" and create a truly equal society? (If yes, what do you think would move us toward that goal?)

I was just talking about this today. Not regarding race specifically, but the notion of class and elitism. I don't suppose it comes as any surprise that, I myself, am an elitist :P
Personally speaking, I'm not sure if true equality is achievable. No matter how accessible (in the broadest sense of the word) people in their capabilities are not equal.
I don't think that's a bad thing, the badness is the social superiority and welfare put upon those differences.
Wiping out "white privilege" will only be possible if people acknowledge that this privilege exists, that people who come from different backgrounds, have different identities that intersect with each other and not look at oppression as layers (as in "the most oppressed person in the room is the neuroatypical physically disabled immigrant black muslim trans lesbian") - that's not how we work, it's not how we can get things done, because there is no easy answer.
I think if more and more people realise the versatility of the human condition and how we can't be put into ticky-tacky boxes, but rather on differently paved roads and paths that change over our lives...
Well, you get the picture.

If you wanna do this meme, well, you know the drill.

Because I'm a Fan

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 11:22:44 GMT

I just donated to the Organisation for Transformative Works.

This is part of fan and Internet history keeping and making.

I think being a part of it is awesome!

Good god, I've even posted a Cat!Macro in this honour.

Hopefully I'll find the time to do more than just vote and donate - volunteering is fun!

NASA Says:

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:57:14 GMT

There is water on the Moon.

Now that, is News.

I'm just part of the homogeneous and hegemonic whole

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:29:36 GMT

Last night I nearly had an argument with my parents, in which I was almost accused, again, of hating Israel.

Why?

Because I don't consider Iran to be an existential thread upon me or my nation.

Why?

Iran has bigger problems, like a civil uprising that's barely being reported now a days - unless it's a foreign national caught in the local politics. The fact that Iran is surrounded by American (and other Western) troops, in Iraq and Afghanistan - Yesterday was Armistice Day and I didn't mention it, because it's not a day commemorated here. We didn't "exist" during the Great War or the Second World War and we have our own military memorial days.
Not to mention Pakistan which really does have nuclear capabilities and appears to have a happy trigger finger.

Ahmadinejad finds Israel, like many other Muslim and Arab nations, an easy Scapegoat - it's part of our Status as Jews, I suppose.

I asked my parental units if they thought Iran was a big cohesive homogeneous nation? The answer was "Yes".
I called Bullshit and they knew that what they had said was not true, but the argument of "Iranian Aggression" doesn't fly when all of the above in taken into account.

I sincerely hope that not everyone thinks Israel is a bunch of Avigdor Liberman's (our Foreign Minister) and Bibi Netanyahu's (our Prime Minister).
Iran is too used as a scapegoat in order to deflect from our own huge problems - like the fact that 1 in 4 Israelis lives in poverty. That public housing is denied to mixed families. That the Settlements are a criminal issue and not just a "National" one.
Just to mention a few of Israel's "Problems".

But that's all small potatoes when we, Israel, ~~an allegedly nuclear nation~~ the tiny nation surrounded by enemies (with whom we are thinking about "peace agreements"... sorta) is being threatened by a politically unstable, non-nuclear and already sanctioned country.

Yeah, I'm feeling safe with Big Brother in this oh so tolerant and enlightened Jewish-Democracy.

"Meet me at the Mall"

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:48:35 GMT

Today I accompanied a friend to one of the most expensive malls in the country - it's a five minute walk from the Uni campus - which is situated in one of the most up market neighbourhoods in Tel Aviv.

Completely unexpectedly, I bought shoes.
I do not simply walk into a shop and buy things on the spot.
It's simply something I do not do.

But for these, I was willing to be spontaneous.
They are, in the words of my father, Zooty!

Add to that, that I tried on pants I haven't fitted into for the past two years and they looked awesome!
I'm feeling pretty good.
In that utterly shallow, I really should be beyond this sort of sizeist thinking, kind of way.

Follow the link! Admire those puppies!

Tear Down The Wall!

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:15:39 GMT

Happy November 9th to all of you!

I was four when the Berlin Wall came down and I did not know until much-much later in life what that meant. What the "Iron Curtain" was, what the Eastern Bloc was, or any of that.
I do know that about two years later, when I was in 2nd grade, there were a tonne of new kids in my school with "weird" names and "weird" accents and I was so happy!
'Cause of my own weird name (though I don't speak Hebrew in a non-Israeli accent).

Sonya, Yuri, Misha, Sasha, Anna, Oleg, Kiril... so many pretty names. Yes, I like Russian names, it's what made "Crime and Punishment" bearable for a large portion of the book.

I am digressing.
Back on topic.

The Berlin Wall both when it stood and after it fall was a symbol of arbitrary divisions and unfair conquest; of geopolitics run amok!; of lives broken and torn apart; of a world made up of checkpoints, collaborators and coercion.

Sounds familiar.

No doubt the Separation Wall that has been partially built along the borders between Israel and the Palestinian Authority (it's not, in fact built along the recognised 1967 borders, which is one of the major problems) has been compared to the Berlin Wall - as oppressive acts committed by oppressors.
Though with 20 years hindsight, it's clear that the Fall of the Wall was a precursor to a time of a great ambiguity - Divided We Fall. What exactly does being United mean?
The Legacy of 1989 Is Still Up for Debate (NYTimes Article).

Last Friday, I mentioned that a section of the Separation wall was broken down by demonstrators. Indeed they did it in honour of the fall of the Berlin Wall.

WATCH: Protesters breach West Bank separation barrier.

(Once the demonstrators were dispersed, it was re-built. But you can't take away from the euphoria that moment brought)

The Fall of the Wall was the end of an era, it was the beginning of a new World order. We are still shaping it, our times are in flux and, just for the melodrama, we have the power.

"You can't touch me there"

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:19:26 GMT

Via rm I discovered the comm kinkfreezone and friends... for a fanfic comm that allows high ratings on the fics and includes Slash, Het and Gen; I have never in my whole on-line life seen a more sex-negative fic community.

Wanting to have a community and specific requirements on fic is fine, fun and dandy. Honestly, it is. Wanting to exclude certain criteria that you and others would rather not read, very fine, your prerogative.
That's not the issue.

The issue is with language and the so-called binary of Vanilla and Kink.

For a more lighthearted, yet not, commentary on the list of kinks NOT permitted you can read thingswithwings' entry here. The comments are hilarious.

But oh, where to start... hmm, possibly from the most offensive one:

Gender themes (gender confusion; sex changes; genderfucks; hermaphrodites; cross-dressing or other forms of genderbending; drag queens and transvestites; androgyny; forced feminization; butch/femme; tomboys).
Ya know, these are actual honest to god actual identities in the real world. The way this is worded, the explicit implication is that the very existence of these, ontologically speaking, in a fic is a kink. Rather than, for example, a person with a specific gender identity. Butch and Femme, are gender identities. Androgyny is also an identity. A sex change is something people do in order to live their lives.
You want to exclude "chicks with dicks" and "guys with pussies", that's fine. Don't start saying the actual identity is a fucking fetish.

Orientation issues (confusion; discovery and coming out; self-hatred; two-beer queers; homosexual panic).
Now how to you explain two people who are explicitly straight in canon falling for each other, I ask?
How the hell, is this a kink? I demand an explanation!

Situational homosexuality.
Bwahahahahahaha! I'm sorry, what? they have Homosocial Environments as well and I'm genuinely baffled by this. How is this a kink? This is a PLOT for a "Plot? What Plot" fic... it can even be, ya know, actual circumstances.

Power issues (inequities in beauty, rank, or class; power games; BDSM; power reversals; sheikhs, sultans, princes, and other royal figures; teacher/student pairings; magical powers; abuse of power; blackmail; romantic slavery; liege/lord pairings; issues of respect; sexual scenarios such as a dominant character giving his partner to others to use, or a character kneeling beneath a desk and blowing someone who's on the phone).
There goes every single fandom that has a team, ranks, people of different genders, race and nationalities.
*Thumbs up*

Religion (sin; faith and lack of faith; priests, monks, nuns, etc; shamans; biblical characters; angels and demons; gods and goddesses; saints; monastic or convent culture).
Because religious people do not include their lives into their sex lives.

Predator/prey pairings.
There goes Buffy fandom.

Striptease.
Don't look while I get naked under the covers! No peeking! That's oh-so kinky!

Voice fetishization (cracking or broken; husky, low, throaty; purring; accents; whispering close to someone's ear).
Fucking hell! Involuntary reaction is not a kink. No, really. This is possibly the most absurd (not offensive, I've listed things I found particularly offensive) criterion on this list.

That whole list needs a serious language editor, a workshop in sex-positivism and just a little shake-up when it comes to Vanilla/Kink binary - here's a secret... it's NOT!).

Enjoy mocking the whole thing.

Edited to Add: Amazing what going to bed will do.
My comment in now deleted, as are all the other critical comments made on the post - I restrained myself a lot and wanted to be respectful, I may have failed a tad.
Here's my comment for keeps:

This list has extremely problematic and prejudicial language.
Perhaps if you edited it, it would read differently, but as it stands, this is offensive to a whole slew of people who you included as a kink.
Some of these aren't even kinks but literary tropes!
Trope=/=Kink, please learn the difference.

Also, including involuntary bodily reactions? Please, get a clue - also the inclusion of "accents", "uncircumcised penises", "homosocial environmental", "nautical themes", "exoticism" and a big portion of "gender themes" just to name a few is downright, and here are heavy words, racist, xenophobic and over-all queerphobic in general.

Fetishising Vanilla is also a kink, you know.
As I said, get a clue.

I understand and respect the want of specific kind of fic, but that toes a line that isn't just about criteria... this is exclusionary in the extreme.

Here is the Mod's reply:

WOW am I getting sick of repeating myself. Had you actually READ the damn post you would see RIGHT AT THE TOP!!! that it is, in fact, a list of KINKS, TROPES AND CLICHES from fandom!

You can go GET A CLUE sweetheart and get the fuck out of my community.

For serious.
The post itself has been updated, because you know, instead of trying to make the comm a little more inclusive - let's just be all the more offensive and delete the things I dun like!
How dare people get offended and say something about it! Sheesh!

Stories Of Who We Are and Admire

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:13:55 GMT

Comic books came to me at a time in which I was searching for belief.

Between the ages of 13 to 15 I was going through a Wiccan/Pagan phase, sad but true, I lived the stereotype. I even have a paper diary in which I wrote down my teenage angst and rage at not being able to be polytheist, not realising I didn't actually believe in any god - because the gods are stories to me.

Mythology, the stories of why we are, who we are; that was what attracted me to the Bible stories, the cosmology of Life after Death in ancient Egypt and incestuous love affairs of ancient Greece.

I can't remember what motivated me to explore religions outside Judaism (I loved the myths before I understood that god was supposed to be more than just a character in a book), possibly because I found and still find, going to shul incredibly boring.
The liturgy can be lovely, but I can't stand the thought of being there just because of (cue the Fiddler) Tradition.

At around that time I was reading Terry Pratchett and found that the philosophy he espouses in Pyramids and Small Gods sat very well with me and my apathetic-yet-literary pursuits.
I also found Good Omens and wasn't that a delight for me, receiving validation in my dislike of religion and being critical of belief at the time¹.
I had no clue who Neil Gaiman was.
I found out.
Enter the Sandman.
It took me four years to collect all ten volumes, as a teen my funds were lacking, of course, so I begged for early birthday presents, loaned money from my brother, just to get my hands on the next Sandman books.
When I realised that Sandman operated in the same world (though a different plain) as DC comics - I began to read Batman again.
Batman, whose villains are so much like himself... he even "dates" them - costume fetish? You bet!

I can now see, looking back and thinking critically upon that very apathetic time of my life, that my need for religion, the search for something bigger than myself - was the search for stories that were bigger than my life... and there ain't nothing bigger than the Endless, the Justice League, the X-Men, V and even the all too fallible Watchmen - post-humanism... oh yes. Now that's transcendent.

I remember reading Season of Mists at 18 and feeling as though my ideas regarding all the gods, faith and world order, laid out in front of me... in vivid colour².

I read "Concerning Mammoths, and Falling Walls" again (the third chapter in Brief Lives) not long after the second Lebanon War and the line Death (our friend, our constant companion in Life) says to the very long-lived man who asks "...I did okay, didn't I?" concerning how long he lived, she says:
"You got a lifetime. No more. No less."

That sentence has been resonating in me for the past three years. It comforts me when I think of my mortality, because we live as long as we do.
And that's it.

Having recently read Gaiman's rendition on the "death of Batman" in Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?" that line echoed in my mind.
It echoes all the time.

Though slash fiction were my main source of understanding "alternative" sexuality and the fact that I, myself, was not straight, comics empowered me in being outwardly weird - I like the colours... in comics even black is bright.
The dynamics of gender in comics are far more complex that what people think - sure, it's busty women in skin tight (or barely there) costumes and it's muscled men in skin tight (there are bulges) costumes.
You can learn so much about what is idealised and why by reading these people who still hark from that time of pulp-fiction and illicit magazines.

I'm writing this whole spiel because Blognewsarama (my main comic oriented news site) plugged this website:

The A-Z LGBT Comic Book Character Superlist, which is freakin' awesome! This website Queersupe appears to be that much more extensive, in-depth and analytical.

Works for me! Go and explore.

And just to keep with the theme of this somewhat sombre entry; comic books (along with my search for faith through religion) enabled me to doubt, ask questions about the veracity of the stories we tell ourselves (all are real of course) and the ideals upon which they are supported... helped me learn about myself and the stories that make my world the way it is.

Footnotes
(1) I'd just like y'all to know that it took me a long time to come to the conclusion that agnosto-atheism was the best place for me, I really wanted to have some kind of faith that was bigger than me. But my identification with being Jewish is too strong, though historical, cultural and ethnic - religion is a composite in that, and despite being a complete heretic... I cannot remove it from me entirely.
Back to text.

(2)For a long time Bast and Anubis were my closest companions in my dreams and I even bought two little figurines of them... they sit along with the other statuettes in my room, that I collected over the years. I once used them in a ceremony with a bunch of friends - I was still trying to be of belief, faith and religion, but inwardly I was already gone. A hypocritical portion of my life, without a doubt.
Back to text.

Two Days Early

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:00:40 GMT

Today, at the weekly protest in the village on Nialin, demonstrators broke down a section of the wall:

All photos are credited to Active Still.

That is so amazing and encouraging, the significance of it being so close to the date of the fall of the Berlin wall is just... poetic.

Anecdote Regarding: God, The Universe and that Table

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:14:02 GMT

I was sitting at the bus station minding my own business.

A man of about 50-55 comes towards me and asks if it's all right if he smokes. I thought it was very (see, overly, for the society we live in) polite of him to ask and said "sure".

This was quite obviously a ploy.

He begins to tell me a story.

"I just couldn't sit at the other bus station. There was a girl there; dressed far too revealingly for me, her chest hanging out and short pants".

I'm staring at him as though he's grown an extra head. Instead his beard, peyot, kipah (yarmulke/skull cap) and tzitzit become glaringly obvious props for his forthcoming tale and story.

In my head, I'm screaming: "Why? Why is this man talking to me and regaling to me this bullshit story!?"

He continues (sans my loud thoughts that this man is a religious nut): "I ask [the aforementioned girl] do you believe in G-d?"

In my mind: "Mercy!"

He tells her words: "'Yes' she says and I ask you [that is, me and the universe in general most likely] if she's have said 'yes, but I sin', I could live with that... But dressed the way she is... how can she say that!?".

Meanwhile, I'm trying to understand why this woman (if she indeed exists outside this man's narrative) engaged with this man, seeing as I was doing my best to Not Engage with this person and his irrational tirade about how this woman's dress somehow marks her heretic - obviously I'm the best audience ever! What with my long jeans, trainers, long-sleeved shirt and high necked top underneath it.
If only we were telepathic, nay?

He goes: "She tells me her beliefs are simple. How can creation be simple?!"

How I wished I had a desk on which to bash my head and his continuously!

Throughout this entire time I'm dying for a bus, any bus to arrive to take one of us away! I'm also silent, grimacing from time to time and keeping away from him as much as possible while not leaving the bus stop - I really did not feel safe enough to tell to STFU... perhaps if there was another person there I would have told him to stop bothering me... but *Gah*, the situation just really did not encourage aggressive-aggression and I went for body-language instead.

"Creation can't be simple" this man says, "I tell her [still this very-well-could-be-fictional-girl] 'that table? You see it? Someone designed it, yes?' she replied 'yes'. So no tell me G-d doesn't exist!"

I was ready to throw up on him. I had been feeling queasy regardless, but I could have blown chunks over this.

He continued with this line of talk and thought for a good ten minutes, in addition going on to inform me that the Bible predicted Swine 'flu (o_O) and that according to Rabbi What-ever-the-fuck 14,5-and something are going to die because that's the Gimatric interpretation of the Hebrew letters of Swine 'flu (which are שפעת חזירים).

I actaully breathed a sigh of relief when his bus arrived and he was out of my life.

It was just too odd. I don't think I'd ever been proselytised to before. Obviously him asking me if he could smoke was a ploy to start engaging me in conversation.
Good tactic.

I now have a funny anecdote about Jewish fundamentalists... who are so different from all the other ones you encounter in the street (much to our annoyance)

Off Topic, but related to the fact that I'm home and talking about this.
I'm feeling queasy and at the last minute decided not to go the talk tonight, because I'd rather not be sick in front of people.
I'm disappointed, but hopefully I'll be able to catch the DAM people at a later date during their visit in the region.

"Remember..."

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:25:11 GMT

Hey folks,

Go blow shit up for justice!

Sincerely,

Your queer feminist anti-militarist anarcho-socialist grrl.

I believe in peace... Bitch!

Bless DAM

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:20:48 GMT

Dialogues Against Militarism have arrived to Be'er Shevah and tomorrow they're speaking at the Tel-Aviv infoshop, Salon Mazal.

I'm really really hoping I can make it and not drop dead from my freakishly long day at Uni tomorrow.