I was sitting at the bus station minding my own business.

A man of about 50-55 comes towards me and asks if it's all right if he smokes. I thought it was very (see, overly, for the society we live in) polite of him to ask and said "sure".

This was quite obviously a ploy.

He begins to tell me a story.

"I just couldn't sit at the other bus station. There was a girl there; dressed far too revealingly for me, her chest hanging out and short pants".

I'm staring at him as though he's grown an extra head. Instead his beard, peyot, kipah (yarmulke/skull cap) and tzitzit become glaringly obvious props for his forthcoming tale and story.

In my head, I'm screaming: "Why? Why is this man talking to me and regaling to me this bullshit story!?"

He continues (sans my loud thoughts that this man is a religious nut): "I ask [the aforementioned girl] do you believe in G-d?"

In my mind: "Mercy!"

He tells her words: "'Yes' she says and I ask you [that is, me and the universe in general most likely] if she's have said 'yes, but I sin', I could live with that... But dressed the way she is... how can she say that!?".

Meanwhile, I'm trying to understand why this woman (if she indeed exists outside this man's narrative) engaged with this man, seeing as I was doing my best to Not Engage with this person and his irrational tirade about how this woman's dress somehow marks her heretic - obviously I'm the best audience ever! What with my long jeans, trainers, long-sleeved shirt and high necked top underneath it.
If only we were telepathic, nay?

He goes: "She tells me her beliefs are simple. How can creation be simple?!"

How I wished I had a desk on which to bash my head and his continuously!

Throughout this entire time I'm dying for a bus, any bus to arrive to take one of us away! I'm also silent, grimacing from time to time and keeping away from him as much as possible while not leaving the bus stop - I really did not feel safe enough to tell to STFU... perhaps if there was another person there I would have told him to stop bothering me... but *Gah*, the situation just really did not encourage aggressive-aggression and I went for body-language instead.

"Creation can't be simple" this man says, "I tell her [still this very-well-could-be-fictional-girl] 'that table? You see it? Someone designed it, yes?' she replied 'yes'. So no tell me G-d doesn't exist!"

I was ready to throw up on him. I had been feeling queasy regardless, but I could have blown chunks over this.

He continued with this line of talk and thought for a good ten minutes, in addition going on to inform me that the Bible predicted Swine 'flu (o_O) and that according to Rabbi What-ever-the-fuck 14,5-and something are going to die because that's the Gimatric interpretation of the Hebrew letters of Swine 'flu (which are שפעת חזירים).

I actaully breathed a sigh of relief when his bus arrived and he was out of my life.

It was just too odd. I don't think I'd ever been proselytised to before. Obviously him asking me if he could smoke was a ploy to start engaging me in conversation.
Good tactic.

I now have a funny anecdote about Jewish fundamentalists... who are so different from all the other ones you encounter in the street (much to our annoyance)

---

Off Topic, but related to the fact that I'm home and talking about this.
I'm feeling queasy and at the last minute decided not to go the talk tonight, because I'd rather not be sick in front of people.
I'm disappointed, but hopefully I'll be able to catch the DAM people at a later date during their visit in the region.

Due to Torchwood and the discussion regarding Homophobia that spread over fandom on-line, I've mentioned a few times the term "casual homophobia", I got a mentioning of the phenomenon as well.

Seeing as I had a brush with it yesterday and it being in the forefront of my mind, I thought I'd share the anecdote with you my dear readers and hear what y'all had to say about it.

Yesterday I went to visit my friend N, who has been ill lately and her Boyfriend was there, taking care of her, making lunch, etc.

He hung out in the living room and we hung out in her bedroom.

She'd been telling me about this guy for a month now and I was looking forward to meeting him as she hasn't sounded this enthusiastic about a boy in a while.

Anyway as we sat in her room she we chatted and she said that he's one of the most open minded people she'd ever met. Like myself, queer or not, the majority of my friends are what can be commonly called "Outsiders".
So him being an Outsider and open-minded (things that are not mutually exclusive mind you) sounded like a good deal to me.

He made chicken soup for N and himself, fried some rice for me, sans chicken to cater to my vegetarian self, the small talk was flowing and very comfortable, he asked me what I do (student of Lit and, Gender and Women' Studies, which he asked about and seemed to grasp very quickly and didn't make any jokes about "Men's Studies" which was refreshing as well) he didn't bat an eyelash when I mentioned [Southern!Girl].
All very charming and domestic.
It was fun.

Eventually due to her being quite sickly (poor thing!) N fell asleep and I was getting ready to go, seeing as she had fallen asleep and her boy needed to study.
As I was gathering my stuff, her boy asked, casually, "Are you a Lesbian?"

You know how you automatically stiffen and you feel your tummy drop a bit when you perceive a threat? My body did that, but just as quickly I relaxed again, because I'd been hanging out with his nice guy for over an hour and replied, just as casually, "No, I'm Bi, I just seem Gay" and we had a chuckle.

Now I cannot give you a word for word record of the conversation that went down, because it was quite long and eventually went in circles.

It turns out this boy has never met a gay man that he got along with. They are all aggressive, provocative and if they wouldn't be shoving their identity in his face if they were so Proud of it.

Oy oy oy.
I say again, oy oy oy.

So much to unpack and break down, so little time.

The discussion as to why what he said was homophobic and why I am using such a "strong term" like homophobia went on for a good 40 minutes.
It was civil.
I kept my cool despite wanting to tear my (his) hair out.

N eventually woke up and came out of her bedroom and was happy to hear us talking and getting along. Her boy sarcastically said, "We were just discussing the weather".
Which made us all chuckle.
N said she's always happy when her friends get along, to which a tsk and she replied: "Well you get along with everyone".
And I do, much to my dismay at times.

I'm not afraid of confrontation as 40 minutes of "civil discussion" should indicate. But unlike with my family (and very-very close chosen-family-type-friends) who I believe should know better than to say certain things, I find myself infinitely fucking patient with strangers when it comes to difference in opinion that have political ramifications in real life.

The thing is, nothing he was saying was hateful. He wasn't saying that gay men were perverted, disgusting, that they need to be "fixed" or have violence committed upon them for being who they are.
What he was saying that the queer was putting a cramp on his default identity, which fully admitted to having when I explained to him what I meant by "default identity".

It's casual and no real harm is meant by it, but it's endemic and it hurts and makes seemingly safe spaces appear unsafe.

He's a very charming nice guy and he treats N well and they seem very happy together which makes me very happy for her.
I think I'll just be asking him if he's managed to rise above his straightness and find any gays with whom he's gotten along with.

I'd like to add that this is not an invitation for people to bash the people I've (anonymously) mentioned in this post. As usual any comment in welcome, anonymous ones are always automatically screened.

A Butch
It's starts like a joke you'd tell in a Dyke bar, except it happened in my dad's Pharmacy.
( So this Butch walks into a shop... )

A Clueless Teen
OMG.
Seriously.
OMG.
What has become of Israel sex-ed program.
Dude.

The other day a kid, no older that 16 or 17 walked into the pharmacy and asked to by the Morning After Pill (which is sold over the counter, no need for a script and it's known as Postinor) and I in my mind I was going; Buy some condoms. ( Eventually... he did )

J-Lem Pride
It was, in fact, quite uneventful, thanks to the heat (probably).
On the way to the park in which we assembled I saw some Religious Nuts with signs that said things like: "Abomination" and "Go Straight, for Family's Sake", but they weren't allowed to come into the park.
And that was pretty much it.
( No, not really )
We've still got a long way to go.

nurint met up with us after, which was great fun, as she actually lives in J-Lem and took us to a great restaurant and showed us around the City Centre.
She then carted us to our respective places, which was so great of her.
Thank you my friend!

All in all.
Pretty good week, despite not spending enough time with [Southern!Girl].
But that we can rectify.

Notes
(1)This lecturer has often spoken about Butch identity and the fact that she's never felt as anything other than a Butch Lesbian Woman... so I felt confident is saying that to that asshole guy.

Matzah and Humous... best. Combo. Ever.

Every year I forget how much fun it is to eat gooey things on the crunchiness of Matzah. Luckily, it's only for a week.

Tuesday night [Southern!Girl] arrived to spend the "Holy" days with me (and my entire family); thinking about it now, I'm not sure how she didn't explode/implode of the stress - well, she was tense, but we very happily worked on that...

The actual day of the Seder - Erev Pesach (Passover Eve, I guess) - Mummy sent [Southern!Girl] and I to buy some last minute things before all the stores closed early for the holiday and wouldn't actually open again until Friday. It was really fun just going for a walk, talking and spending quality time with her, as usual.

My sister and her family (the Jerusalem contingent) came down for the majority of the week and it was seriously fun to hang out with everyone despite the pre-Seder craziness.
( Cut for Length )

Tradition is a funny thing in my family, we're very irreligious on the whole, and I think it is beginning to slip away from us as I've never heard any of the kids mention "God" except in the mythological sense, so I think the older members of my family (i.e. everyone but me and my nevvies) have a great stake at keeping tradition as close to their own childhood memories.

For myself, I wouldn't mind to see some acknowledgement that things aren't the same and that they are dynamic and changing and that we really don't need to keep the Hagadah and whole Seder patriarchal parochial dated traditional.

[Southern!Girl] stayed until Friday morning and it was Good.

We will meet up again over the week.
So far, it's been a very good one.

A question for discussion if you please, what do you think of tradition?

Every country and nation has little moments in which you proclaim "Only in [name of country]!".

I came upon a moment like that yesterday on my home on my regular mode of public transportation. Now, lots of things make me go "Only in Israel", but this incident was seriously unique.

I'm sitting and a few rows in the back I hear a guy speak to his buddy on his cellphone. He was crystal clear and I couldn't miss a word.
Here is what he said, translated from Hebrew to English for your benefit:

"Hey man [other person on the phone], I saw Waltz with Bashir last night. And guess what, one of the soldiers that was interviewed was my Commanding Officer when I was in the Army.

My eyes fell out of my face.
He continued:

The movie doesn't make us look good. But it was powerful and seeing my CO there got me to be even more connected

This country is seriously small and screwed up.

It's an interesting coincidence that on the same day that I had this Overheard on Israeli public transport that the social activism channel Social TV (YouTube Channel) broadcast the second edition of their magazine In an Occupying Society, which is a ten minute podcast of interviews in which Left, anti-Occupation, Feminist, etc activists talk about the Occupation from various perspectives, from the Israeli side, in an attempt to raise awareness as to what the Occupation is costing Israeli society.

This month's edition is about Militarism and it connects so well with what I overheard on the train.
The video is in Hebrew with English subtitles.


Last month's edition was the economic cost of the Occupation: Part 1 and Part 2.

I don't understand the concept of political correctness.

I understand the concept of non-prejudicial language.

I understand the concept of respecting other people.

I don't understand why people don't get either of those two concepts and accuse me of being "Politically Correct" as though I'm trying to censor what they say and what they think.

Is it seriously so difficult for people not to say something that is offensive to another person?

And in any event, why is it called Political Correctness when in reality it is basic politeness?

There seems to be this notion that people, as a general rule, do in fact spout whatever they like and are completely filter-less when it comes to language.

My mother, who is a teacher, threw a kid out of her class the other day because he said that there was an "Arab Smell" in the classroom.
I mean, for fuck's sake.
Would you say that my mother was wrong for punishing a child for saying something like that?
And if he had said there was a "Fucking Smell"? (which could happen, Mummy teaches English the language to 14-15 year old kids).
She's probably throw the kid out all the same.
Disrespectful language in a public forum.

Is what she did censorship?

Well you could say that in the hierarchical set-up of a school, the kids really do have no say when it comes to freedom of speech and all that.
So yeah, that's my mother's prerogative to discipline the class room.

But when you're talking with people in the aforementioned public forum.
How does that work then?
I don't really have the prerogative of discipline the masses.
I do think it is everyone's duty, as social people, to be aware of the effect and affect of language on other people's lives.

Is that difficult?

I know that in Israel it is, there is a culture of "telling it straight", "what you see is what you get" and very frank discussion on race (and in some circles sex of various kinds).
The other day I was at my regular falafel place which is run by a family of Mizrahi Jews (specifically of Yemeni heritage) and I was saying that I love the spices they've added to the falafel and [Proprietor] smiled at me and said "Thanks, most people from Africa like the hot stuff".
I laughed because he knows my family is South African and I said "Yeah, well you wouldn't know with the way my family eats... they don't all go for the hot stuff... You know us Europeans"
"Yeah, well you don't count you were born here"
"I guess so" I replied.
"Where's your family originally from?" he asked.
I said we were Lithuanian, Latvian, Polish, generic Eastern-European.
And he said "Yeah, I though you guys were Russian when I first met you".

Only in Israel.

Oy my point drifted away.
Ah yes.
Language.
And how Political Correctness is a myth.
You're either respectful (which isn't synonymous with polite) or you're not.
As a general rule we don't say everything we think right at that moment, it goes through a filter and is arranged to make sense in our mouths, or on a page, or on a website.

As a result, if someone accuses you of "Political Correctness" ask them if they find it difficult to not say "You mouther-fucking bitch cunt!"?.
When you could have easily said "You fucking moron!".
If you're going to insult my intellect, don't make it about my "female brain".
Seems harsh, don't it?

My tolerance for people has never been particularly high. I'm very picky about the people I'm willing to be friends with and I unfortunately tend to form strong opinions very quickly, so if someone said, done or have an attitude that grates me... I'm afraid it would take a hell of a lot to make me consider that someone worth any kind of positivity from me.

The one kind of attitude I can't fucking stand, really, it pisses me off beyond grating, is the "I'm so speshul" attitude.

A small disclaimer; I have my own incidences in which I'm completely narcissistic and think I'm the best thing that ever happened. This is a normal thing for people who know they're smart, I think.
But when [editorial] you are only saying something in a class discussion that isn't in aid of putting forth a standpoint, but in fact to put yourself in the spot light, you're an ass.
No, really.
You are.
I'm sorry I'm being vague, but I dislike demonizing particular people on the Internet, especially since I'm not locking this post as it's actually something worth talking about.

In a class forum, especially in a class in which sexuality and gender identity is on the table (it being a Queer Theory class), your own individual personal sexuality isn't what's being discussed.
It's one thing and a very good thing, to say out loud, that the discussion is excluding certain sexualities and identities (e.g. bisexuality and genderqueer). It's another to say that it affects you personally.
No, sorry, that's someone with an attitude problem.
And I may sound harsh, but I cannot stand it when people decide to use a class forum to show off their "spedhulness".
It's neither the time nor the place.
You want to talk about your own sexuality, there are breaks and after-class discussions. I mean, c'mon, we're a bunch of intellectual queers... this is what we do.
It rubs me the wrong way.
I (try to) participate in classes. I have things to say. I try to make them a standpoint and not a "personal opinion" or a "personal issue" mainly because, every word I say is ideological and very obviously a "personal" thing, unless I'm very specifically playing Devil's Advocate - but that's a whole different kettle of fish (where does that saying come from).

There are certain types of "speshul" people.
Not just the type described above.

There's also the type that feels the need to tell you, that because they like something in a certain way, then liking that same something in a different way is wrong.
For example, I was talking to this person about Alan Moore and how I'm really pre-supposed to hating the new "Watchmen" movie, mainly because I hate, despise Zack Snyder.
Hate. That. Director.
A lot.
Aesthetics mean a lot... but not enough to cover up the badness and complete lack of directorial abilities.
But I digress.
Any way, this person totally agrees and inside I'm all "yay, Moore fan!" and then he says "I really hated the Vendetta movie as well".
And I was like "What? How come? I mean, it was a very cute adaptation? Wachowski Sibs!"
He goes: "It completely butchered the meaning of the book, which is one of the few works that managed to show Anarchy as interesting".
(I refrain from bringing up "The Dispossessed" by Ursula K. Le Guin).
I say: "I enjoyed it and..." before I can finish my thought about the movie making it's own statement about freedom, government and other things like that, he interrupts and says:
"I guess I'm more of a political hard-liner than you"

What is with people?
Seriously?
Do you know me? I think not. I'll tell you something, I now know this guy a hell of a lot better now than before and I hope the hostility I transmit reaches him loud and clear.

People are people, I know.
And I can understand how misanthropy develops and becomes ones default position when it comes to interaction with others.
I really hope I retain my love for humanity for a little bit longer, despite the fact that I'm encountering these characters.

Objectivism is the epistemological equivalent of "My eyes are closed you can't see me because I can't see you".
But I digress.

I went to the Randroid fan club on Wedensday night with the expectation that I'd be amused.
I wasn't.
I felt sorry for the guy (to be known from now on as [Ranroid!Boy]) who decided to open this "philosophical discussion club" and was didactidly lecturing (much like Rand did in her books) on the basics of Objectivist thought.
I found myself both bored and irritated when my attmpts at explaining the Linguistic Turn didn't go so well... or at all. [Randroid!Boy] was ignoring my terrible "relativist" ways.

The guy was insidiously benign. He told us he discovered Rand in his twenties! He must live a really sheltered life.
Nothing he was saying could actually be pin pointedly seen as bad.
He spoke about the "tennents of Objectivism", the whole man as a heroic figure and the not living for anyone else or asking anyone to live for me.
But rand didn't invent that, nor did she perfect anything, she merely made fascist aesthetics into uber-individualism and too the idea of Nietzsche's Übermensch and positioned it into her economic ideal of Capitalism.
Never mind that Randroids ignore the fact that there are life circumstances that create different life experiences and that you cannot remove them from your own identity.

[Randroid!Boy] didn't get into the supremacy idea, something that many Objectivists seem to forget. The belief that if I just do whatever is good for Me and that that is the best thing completley negates the liberty of other people.
It doesn't matter that you say "everyone else is free to do the same".
Because we are social animals, no matter how terribly we treat each other, there is a need for relationships and inter-relation.

The most ridiculous thing that was mentioned in this little fan club meeting: someone (not me) tried to make a point that not everyone is in a position to think about free will (which is imperative in Randian thought and probably the biggest hole in what is already a swiss cheese system of philosophy) and are able to only think about survival, like a starving child in Africa (actual example used, by the way... not say... a starving child in Gaza... we like to keep things academic). [Randroid!Boy] used that as an example to "prove" the argument as selfishness as an ideal, one does everything to save themselves first.
What?!
I was shocked.
I shouldn't have been.
But c'mon!
There are forces that create circumstances that lead to that child's starvation people!
What the hell is wrong with these people?!

Two actually funny things that kind of disproved [Randroid!Boy]'s entire standing of living an Objectivist life were these:
1) He asked peope not to be late.
Zing! You lose... how dare you impose your own time table on others! What, you expect them to do something for you!
2) He took into account people's abilities.
Zing! You lose again... what abilities are these? You are either a hero or you aren't. If you aren't you're not a human and are of no consequence, etc. etc. etc.
Logical Fallacy!
Error!
Error!
Arrrgh!

Anyway, I'll not be going back, of course. There were only 15 or so people and I know of one other person who will not be going back... hopefully this little club will wallow and die.

---

Oh artists and graphically astute people: would one of you be kind and generous enough to take the philosophical thought written below and icon-ise it with a an actual "Calvin and Hobbes" cartoon?

Calvinian-Hobbesianism: A relationship that is based on the knowledge that reality is a direct product of interaction with imagination.

Thank you in advance!

Dear Ladies, Gents and Others in the Supermarket,

Mind your own fucking business!

Thanks,

The grrl who was doing as her Mother asked and really wasn't looking for any input from you.

I mean, really.
There I am minding my own business putting olives into a plastic container from the buffet like counter where you can put as many condiments as you like in the aforementioned containers. Mother Unit asked me to cover the olives in the water.
I do so.
And as I put the container in the cart I am bombarded by one of the workers behind the meat counter telling me that I should put the water in a different container so I don't have to pay the extra weight.
I stare blankly completely surprised to be spoken to in this situation - going to the Supermarket is one of the most anti-social phenomena in real life I feel - and mumble about doing what my mother asked me to.
And then, then other shoppers around me began to tell me to do the same thing and someone asked who my mother was!

Fucking hell.

I shot out of that aisle like something on wheels.
Mother Unit was a little past me and gave me a look of total puzzlement.
Moi: Who are these Nosey People?
MU: I don't know. Who cares if I want to pay extra for the water!?
Moi: They scared me.
Mu: Poor baby.

I hate going to the Supermarket.
It's one of those places that really brings out the worst in Humanity.

I come from a family of such weirdos.

A paranoid argument about Chinses economic domination, as though it would have any effect on our culture other than consumption.

The words "Occidental" and "Domination" came up a few times.

Double standard much.

To me it's just proof at the invidiousness of Capitalism and White-Supremacy.

And to think that just a few decades ago this same Occidental culture tried to exterminate us.

How fickle we are.

I recently saw a documentary about the word "slut", it's meanings etymological, social, political, personal etc.

Personally, I don't think I've ever been called a slut. If I was it was never to my face and kept secret from me.

It got me thinking though, of the pejoratives I had been called throughout my life and quite a large amount of High School Nostalgia.

Here's a list off the top of my head (with Hebrew as well, as I grew up and live in a non-English speaking environment):

כלבה - Bitch
פריקית - Freak
פוסטמה - slang for annoying or stupid female
לזבית - Lesbian (more like Dyke... in a bad way)
רעה - Mean or Bad
מכשפה - Witch (though oddly, not during my Wicca phase... funny how these things work).
חכמולוגית - Smart-ass
דפוקה - Fucked up
חצופה - Cheeky
נודניקית - Nag
כוסית - the word כוס is cunt, but the word is slang for an attractive woman, you can often hear it being hurled at you in the street, or spoken complementarity by your friends. I hate the word regardless as I'd rather not be referred to as a vagina... if someone is using the word near me I hope they're talking anatomy and not personality (or lack thereof).

In any event, the word I heard most, since I was 12 has been Bitch and it's varieties - the first time someone called me Klafta - קלעפטאה which is Yiddish for "Bitch" I burst out laughing.

Bitch is a word I like.
I've come to take pride in it, I heard it so much growing up I couldn't help but embrace it - if being called that name meant I wasn't teased and harassed every day then good, ya know.

Looking back on growing up, I can see a trend of boys being interested in me, romantically, sexually, whatever and I never noticed. Only in hindsight do I see that these obnoxious, irritating, self-entitled boys were hitting on me, coming on to me.
I mean, I thought most girls responded to that because they were dumb, not because that was the social cue of the day.
Which is still dumb - not the girls who followed the cue, the cue itself.
I was such a loner and self-involved that I'd missed the days where girls and boys were taught that language called "adolescent courtship" which I always interpreted as "stupid boys harassing me".

An anecdote:
( Cut for marginally entertaining high school drama with yours truly as protagonist )

One of the things I've come to realise is that I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only one harassed and hassled in high school. For being a weird girl, a Loner girl and all that.
And looking back on that, I have to say that without the word "Bitch", I probably wouldn't be the Grrl I am today.
So this isn't a pity-party, it's a "hmmmm, memories of a shitty adolescence" party!

I any event, I embraced the title of Bitch and carried it over to my Army service where it served me quite well. After I was discharged I toned it down, though I'm told that I'm quite aggressive still (abrasive and having "an attitude", as my family at times informs me), so I feel I live up to "Bitch".

*sigh* While hellish at the time, nostalgically High School had some good times. Though I'd slice off my nose if I had to do it again.