Via rm I discovered the comm kinkfreezone and friends... for a fanfic comm that allows high ratings on the fics and includes Slash, Het and Gen; I have never in my whole on-line life seen a more sex-negative fic community.

Wanting to have a community and specific requirements on fic is fine, fun and dandy. Honestly, it is. Wanting to exclude certain criteria that you and others would rather not read, very fine, your prerogative.
That's not the issue.

The issue is with language and the so-called binary of Vanilla and Kink.

For a more lighthearted, yet not, commentary on the list of kinks NOT permitted you can read thingswithwings' entry here. The comments are hilarious.

But oh, where to start... hmm, possibly from the most offensive one: ( So as not to eat your f-list )

Voice fetishization (cracking or broken; husky, low, throaty; purring; accents; whispering close to someone's ear).
Fucking hell! Involuntary reaction is not a kink. No, really. This is possibly the most absurd (not offensive, I've listed things I found particularly offensive) criterion on this list.

That whole list needs a serious language editor, a workshop in sex-positivism and just a little shake-up when it comes to Vanilla/Kink binary - here's a secret... it's NOT!).

Enjoy mocking the whole thing.

Edited to Add: Amazing what going to bed will do.
My comment in now deleted, as are all the other critical comments made on the post - I restrained myself a lot and wanted to be respectful, I may have failed a tad.
Here's my comment for keeps:

This list has extremely problematic and prejudicial language.
Perhaps if you edited it, it would read differently, but as it stands, this is offensive to a whole slew of people who you included as a kink.
Some of these aren't even kinks but literary tropes!
Trope=/=Kink, please learn the difference.

Also, including involuntary bodily reactions? Please, get a clue - also the inclusion of "accents", "uncircumcised penises", "homosocial environmental", "nautical themes", "exoticism" and a big portion of "gender themes" just to name a few is downright, and here are heavy words, racist, xenophobic and over-all queerphobic in general.

Fetishising Vanilla is also a kink, you know.
As I said, get a clue.

I understand and respect the want of specific kind of fic, but that toes a line that isn't just about criteria... this is exclusionary in the extreme.

Here is the Mod's reply:

WOW am I getting sick of repeating myself. Had you actually READ the damn post you would see RIGHT AT THE TOP!!! that it is, in fact, a list of KINKS, TROPES AND CLICHES from fandom!

You can go GET A CLUE sweetheart and get the fuck out of my community.

For serious.
The post itself has been updated, because you know, instead of trying to make the comm a little more inclusive - let's just be all the more offensive and delete the things I dun like!
How dare people get offended and say something about it! Sheesh!

Hey folks,

Go blow shit up for justice!

Sincerely,

Your queer feminist anti-militarist anarcho-socialist grrl.

I believe in peace... Bitch!

It's been raining cats, dogs and frogs since Friday.

Today Mummy made Ginger short-bread biscuits for Libby my niece and I.

I had been in my room studying and the smell had been wafting about.

Not too long after Mummy called me and she started cutting the flat short-bread and I ate it.

Divine, I tell you. Divine!

Nothing like fresh baked anything on days in which the sky is falling.

I don't think my internet persona is that different from my RL persona.

The one-sidedness of blogging and not having to be considerate of interrupting someone or someone interrupting me makes me more eloquent online, it also stops me from being repetitive in the same paragraph - at times, during conversation, my mind can go blank and I struggle for a word which will either be in the other language I speak (the danger of bilingualism) or I'll lose both words because I'm trying to figure out which is more appropriate.

It's frustrating, and quite obviously I'm the only one who takes it badly because hiccups in conversation happen all the time! I'm not giving a presentation or reading a speech.
I'm not an orator.
Stuff happens.

That's not where I was going with this post.

Backing up. Ah, yes.
My persona.

People behave differently depending on the context and people in which they find themselves.

I can be very shy at times, which surprises people with whom I'm very gregarious.

I've been told my internet persona belies my niceness and charm. Because, yeah, I do try to be nice and pleasant and friendly. Even with people that I don't particularly like or get along with, if I'm in the vicinity I do my best so that everyone gets along.
Until I don't.
And as I know and been told:
"Mel, when you're mean, you're scary"
I am assertive and my voice can pitch in a way that can be grating and strident and makes people tell me to "tone it down" which makes me even more irritable and thus... well, you get the picture.

I suppose because the social niceties that I pull off so well and easily IRL aren't required for online interaction. I try to be respectful to any one I communicate with, there are exceptions of course, because when I people don't bother to keep their prejudices to themselves, I don't see why I should keep my opinions on said prejudices to myself as well.

I can be rude. I often am online. Assertion is read as aggression and you have to be clear in your writing because ambiguity is so easy to write unintentionally. Intentional writing will always carry a harder punch and more often than not, I don't pull the punches I write.

If you've met me IRL, you know I'm quite bubbly and babbly. That I'm bouncy and *squeeish* (something I manage to convey online at times, for sure) and that I'm loud and have no poker face.

I'm quite sure my online persona is just waaaaay more eloquent when it comes to talking about things that make me go *ARRRRGH* seeing as IRL, I tend to go *splurterscoughshriekBWUH!Eff-U Man!I-got-something-to-say!NO-I-WONT-BE-QUIET...* - this can also be what goes on in my head, because like many a family & friends gathering, many people say things that they believe are appropriate - like racial slurs (which I try smack down when I'm within earshot), sexist remarks (which are so pervasive in interaction as well) and homophobia laden comments (har har, oh yeah, you thought she was a man, that's fucking precious, har har) - and the situation calls for decorum, niceness and charm.

That bubble was bust a long time ago, but behaviour dies hard.

I come off strong.
I'm cool with that.

It makes me memorable.

I still haven't managed to find the balance of many hours spent at Uni and Life (Online and IRL).

I'll find the time to update.

Because I'm reading quite a few new blogs which I want to talk about, but feh, time! I need to sleep as well you know.

Lots of stuff has been happening, and yes I know it's not nice to tease, but I can't write about in this post... I may write about it later I may not, because I'll forget. Yeah, I'm that scattered at the mo'.

Tomorrow I have a class at 8:30, which means getting up at 6:00 am at the very latest, gah I hate when my regular mode of public transport is not working (the trains are under repair - woe!).

Hopefully I'll be able to blog about my life, my university and everything else (i.e. The News as it relates to me, you and all of Us).

G'night friends, readers and fellow busy people trying to balance life and 42 other things.

I'll be in my jimjams saving the world thanks.

Wow, I'm tired if I'm making Hitchhiker... and Doctor Who referencing the Hitchhiker... references... what am I doing here?!

This is one of the best things I've read and seen in a while.
I generally don't trust the Daily Telegraph but the added footage is just too good.

Cross-dressing cage fighters turn tables on yobs
[...]
CCTV footage shows the pair approach one of the men – dressed in a pink wig, miniskirt and boob tube – before Gardener throws a punch at him.

But the fight is over in a matter of seconds as the other cage fighter, sporting a wig and a sparkling black dress, floors both the assailants with two lightning-quick punches.

One of the cross-dressers then casually picks up his bag before the pair strut off, leaving [the attackers] Gardener and Fender lying on the pavement.

The way they describe the incident along with the footage is just too hilarious.
Not the incident itself, because fuck those two idiots wanted to attack people because they didn't conform to arbitrary gender ideals... and then they kicked ass!
Just, fuck yeah man.
That sort of thing, I like knowing about it, that these homophobic and transphobic sacks of shit don't get to do what they feel they're entitled to do based on the fact that they have a penis and wear trousers.

Of course the Telegraph has to make sure that the cross-dressers do in fact gender conform:

The attackers are arrested by police as they stagger down the road. Officers later learned the cross-dressers were actually cage fighters on a fancy dress stag night out.

Add to that, that the two idiots who tried to assault them were stinking drunk and are thus excused for the behaviour and they were sentenced with curfew, electronic tagging and community service for four moths.

I'm wondering what would have happened if the would-be victims were trans and/or genderqueer people and not two men out for a lark (according to the article... it very well could be that the two cross-dresseres told the police that in order to make themselves appear "gender conforming" on a regular basis in order to avoid being interrogated themselves).

However, like was said at the Magistrate's court:

"You know it cannot have been a good night when you get into a fight with two cross-dressing men".

It really, really can't.

h/t mao4269

Things I grew tired of hearing a long time ago:

#01 "You're aggressive" - You make me want to rip out your rib cage and wear it like a hat (h/t Spike/Willian the Bloody terrible poet, he was a brilliant word-smith...).

#02 "You're provocative" - I make you uncomfortable, not my problem!

#03 Rape apologia - Even if a woman (or man) is walking around, naked, with a placard stating in neon "Will Fuck Anyone!", no one has the right to violate his/her/hir body. Ever. Rape is a crime, stop punishing and blaming the victims.

#04 The term "self-hating Jew" - the next time I hear this term I'm calling on that person and saying they are an "Antisemitic shit-bag". Jewish self-hatred assumes some kind of essential Jewish trait that us (yeah, I'm one of those people) self-haters reject because we're just that disgusting.
Antisemitic Shit-Baggery!

#05 "You've lost weight, you look great!" - I know I've lost weight. I know I comply with the fashionable female body type. I'd appreciate it if no one comments about my body, it's fucking irritating, I'm not livestock to be commented upon, my my rump, ribs and tits are not in public for your consumption! Unless you've been given permission to do so (you know who you are), do stop!

#06 "You look much better now that your hair in longer. The shaved head didn't look good on you".
DIAF.

#07 "Is this another feminist thing?" - Yeah it is, and you're gonna listen to me annoy the fucking hell out of you!

#08 "You're so sensitive" - Yeah, this is me crying over your dead body.

#09 "You're so loud, why do you have to shout everything. It's all about how you say things you know" - Yeah I do know, I also know a big STFU when I see one. Stop trying to control my fucking tone!

And #10 "Why do you care so much?" - because the world is an ugly, cynical and corrupted blemish in this universe. We have to live on it, it may as well be with a modicum of empathy and dignity.

Those are the Top 10 things this week that made me go *rawr*, *arrgh*, swear under my breath, glare, lose my temper and want to throw things at people's faces.

I cannot wait for the semester to start (which it does this Sunday).

Tell me friends, readers and maybe lurkers, what grinds your gears?

I was rudely awoken by my mother informing me that a truck went into my sister's car this morning on her way to work.
My sister is seven moths pregnant.

Currently, she is in Hospital and is being monitored, is staying over night and appears to be okay. I doubt I will go see her, because my Mother is there at the moment and there is no rational reason for me to go visit my sister while she's hooked up to machines and holding her belly.

I only felt the baby move for the first time on Saturday and that was only because my sister was wearing a tight shirt and I could see the tiny, tiny feet move around and stretch the skin and shirt.

That was awesome.

What isn't awesome is my sister being even more stressed out and now traumatised, because a person driving a huge truck either lost control of the vehicle, or didn't notice the other cars around the truck, or was driving in a lane in which large trucks should not be driving, or the person driving the truck (like many truck drivers in this country) has so many penalty points on their license that they just don't give a shit how they drive and thus don't care about the other drivers on the road.

And yes I am putting the blame on the truck because those are big-ass vehicles and the people driving them need to be extra vigilant about how they drive because they put smaller cars (like my sister's Ford Focus!) in danger!

What I'd really like to do is find out who the truck driver is, slash the tiers of his (for there is no doubt that he is male as most truck drivers are) personal vehicle, cut up his driver's license and kick him in the stomach repeatedly.
And then take a bat and smash up his car some more.

Would that be an over-reaction?

Torchwood Fandom,

This is not okay, no matter how you spin it, via torch_wood:

Please Read - TW Fandom Using a photo of my son inappropriately.
[Posted by shamazipan]
I am not usually one to get all up on my high horse about photos I've posted online. It's annoying when something you've posted ends up somewhere else without credit, but at the weekend I heard something that made my stomach churn. A complete stranger told me that she recognised my son from an email attachment that's been floating round. Apparently someone has taken a picture of him and Gareth David-Lloyd and captioned it "Ianto and Lisa's Baby". I can only imagine that someone saw the photo of Gareth and a small mixed race boy and their mind had that random thought. The thing is that most normal people would leave it there and wouldn't then pass that photo around with a silly caption. You have no idea how I felt on hearing that my son was being used as an object of amusement for someone. I share my pictures in very few places - my LJ (photo posts are usually flocked), my private photobucket account and this one photo was shared with friends on a Torchwood forum. What makes this worse is that it is probably someone I know that has done this. While I usually don't worry too much about sharing pictures of my son online this is taking it too far. I want to be able to share pics with my friends but this has seriously made me have to rethink that. Taking a picture of someone's child and knowingly editing it and passing it around is not cool. Not cool at all. I know this is my fault for being trusting but I wanted to post this so that people may think twice about how they use images belonging to others. I feel violated, I feel that my son has been violated and I just can't understand why someone would do that. it was creepy having a stranger approach me and say "I'm sorry to have to tell you this..." and then go on to describe the photo in detail. I just hope that by posting this the person who did this may see it and that they (and anyone reading this really) will have a long think about how they use other people's images without permission in future. There's not much I can do about this now but please, if you get this email, don't pass it on. Seriously fandom, it's creepy stuff like this that gives us a bad name.

Fandom, seriously, invading people's privacy and manipulating the picture of a minor without guardian/parental consent and permission is wrong. Not to mention the skeeviness of objectifying a child in that manner, when it was an innocuous memento.

*sigh* I thought it was too important to not, at the very least, re-post about it.
If I come across that picture there will be Words.

Fandom, the Interwebs carry real life ramifications, I know that it doesn't feel that way, but it really really does.

It may not seem like a big deal, but make no mistake, stuff like this can carry very real and very harsh consequences.

Transformative works should be something creative for our community (because yeah, that's what we are) and not breed distrust.

My two cents.

As I was visiting my fic communities yesterday, someone in the jackxianto community shared a quote that made 'em think of Jack and Ianto.

The quote is this:
"I Want Him To Come Up Behind Me And Wrap His Arms Around My Waist To Catch Me Off Guard And Whisper" I Love You".

I couldn't help it.
I gagged.
I back buttoned and had to read a fic in which the Jack and Ianto behaved like... well, like I think they behave on the show - I really recommend Pizza Mouth by cyus as a slice (haha) of "real life" boys hanging out together, but are also sexual with each other. It's all so very dirty.

The fic made me feel better.

That quote is so anathema to the way I perceive Jack and Ianto's relationship that I cannot imagine how anyone would consider this appropriate for their dynamic.

I think the pictures of Jack and Ianto that floated around the Interwebs in the year following the end of the second season and promoting Children of Earth gave fans the wrong idea regarding the relationship.

Is there love there? No doubt. After CoE you'd have to be utterly clueless in order to ignore the depth of feeling between the two men. The gravity between then is possibly the best ever portrayed between two men on screen - yes, more than Queer as Folk, more than Brokeback Mountain and more than the latent homoeroticism found in various war movies in which one kills people instead of making love to your fox-hole buddy.

Which brings me to my point.
( Jack and Ianto are warriors. )

Should I x-post this anywhere? I'm still a bit fandom shy at times.

I actually have a lot to write about.

However, the home environment is not conducive to writing.

I am distracted by trying to avoid Torchwood spoilers. Soon the "Children of Earth" episode 3 of the third season of TW will air in the UK.

I am trying so hard to avoid them as I plan to marathon the five eps of Saturday/Sunday and finally be able to participate in the discussions, read the fic and write my own bloody meta!

I'll write some for the radio plays as well when I'm over the overwhelming antici(say-it-master)pation... *sigh*.

Props to [Southern!Girl] and the rest of my BFF's for putting up with my huge Fangrrl!Monster.

Y'all know I'm bigger on the inside.

In Israel, burial rights for the deceased (when they're Jewish) are free of charge - the Hevrah Kadisha live on charitable donations and do everything to enable to a real Jewish funeral.
Plus, like almost every other Jewish-Religious institution in this country, it is under the jurisdiction of the government.

Obviously, not everyone wants a Jewish funeral and of course, not every Jewish person can be buried in a consecrated cemetery, for various reasons.

There are a few alternatives, most of them very expensive; to be buried in a secular or non-religious ceremony and cemetery one would have had to pay 24,000 NIS (just over 6000$), this is over in the Kibbutzim of course.

Well, I'm happy to say that my Home Town has opened up an Alternative Civil Cemetery, which like other religious cemeteries is free to the residents of town and is selling plots to those who live outside the municipality for half the price stated above.
The cemetery is operated by Menucha Nechona - Resting Right/Right Rest.

I know it sounds a tad strange to be excited about choosing how one's death is to be commemorated, but friends, I'm really happy there's an option, close to home, in which my family can chose to be traditional on our own terms and not succumb to the Orthodoxy on matters of death.

The dead, of course, don't care how or where or whatever, but for those living and arranging the funeral, it's great that there is acknowledgment that not only do people want to do things that aren't precisely Orthodox... but that there are people of other faiths who would want to bury their loved ones without succumbing to that Orthodoxy.

Now if only we could separate religion from marriage the same way.

Israeli Weddings are renowned for the loud music and the hours of dancing that happen during the actual dinner party.

The following video has (most) of the music that one will likely hear and the moves we make when we dance.

Imagine that, + 200 people, the majority of them slightly wasted.

Yeah...

Caturday postage!

It's not my cat, but it's a cat!



Thanks to [Southern!Girl] for making me laugh!

Friends, Comrades and Lurkers.

Answer me this.

Who is the Prime Minister of Israel?

Thank you.

It's harder than it looks!
Rules: Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 10 people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real . . . nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

01. What is your name: Mel
02. A four letter word: More
03. A boy's name: Martin
04. A girl's name: Melissa
05. An occupation: Mortician... yeah
06. A colour: Mauve
07. Something you wear: Mask
09. A food: Mozzarella
10. Something found in the bathroom: Make up
11. A place: Madagascar
12. A reason for being late: Martian invasion ala War of the Worlds
13. Something you shout: Merde!
14. A movie title: Mars Attacks!
15. Something you drink: Mimosa
16. A musical group: Metallica
17. An animal: Mosquito
18. A street name: Main Street
19. A type of car: Mitsubishi
20. The title of a song: Michelle by The Beatles

Ooooh, I love these morbid questions.
First, I'm donating all my organs to those in need.
Second, the rest of me can be donated to science and experimented on 'till the cows come home.
Third, I'd want to be cremated and have my ashes scatted over the Mediterranean. If I'm lucky enough to have people who will remember me I'd like to have a memorial plaque written somewhere that they could visit... or the place where my ashes are scattered, either way, whatever will bring them the most comfort.

I do not want to be buried in a cemetery, it's not the most ecological option and I'd rather be fish food than worm food.

Words, words, words.

Language is in constant flux, a word that means something is one context doesn't mean the same in another.
Or in the words of Inigo Montoya:
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means".

This is especially true when it comes to the way we talk about behaviour.
What, pray, is the difference between Normal behaviour and Normative behaviour?

At a glance, not much.
On second thought a whole lot, at least in my mind.
The two words are not interchangeable and as much as I enjoy mixing up the lingo and inserting my own ideas when expressing... well... moi (e.g. I'm a Grrl and not a girl), it irks me when I see those two words mixed up.

Normative denotes, at least in my understanding of the word and in the context of behaviour, the value put upon said behaviour. It's also a word specifically used in academia, mainly high theory, philosophy and social sciences.
Normality is simply put, non-deviation from what is considered socially acceptable.

It is normal for people to seek out romantic relationships with other people.
It is normative for people of the opposite sex** to see romantic relationships with each other.

In the News, when I hear about violence in schools and what kids do to each other, teachers, parents, whoever always comment that they never expected [Kid A] to behave this way; after all, Zie is a normative child.
And it grates me.
Really it does.
A person cannot be Normative as an adjective!
They are either Normal or Not! There is no value put upon them as people.

*sigh*

But again, who am I to decide which way the wind blows when it comes to use of language, right?

*Hamlet: Act 2, Scene 2
** I hope I can be forgiven for this terrible anachronism.

Frida's (the laptop) mother board went kaput.

*sigh*

I'll miss her.

Hopefully my next one won't die so soon after purchase. I'm never buying IBM again!

My comments on idiot Randroids (TM sabotabby, who I hope doesn't mind if i use the term as well) a little later.

Is it funny, or sad that there's an Ayn Rand Club for Philosophy Students at my Uni and they're spamming the entire Humanities student body's email.
The first meeting is next Wedesnday.

Do I go and mock?
Or do I avoid the proto-fascist crazies?

Help me out dear friends.

I'm just... who would have thought? Randians on campus, and they could be anyone. Cooo! Maybe I should go and scope in order to know who to avoid for the rest of my academic career.
When I was a teenager I was a Randian, read all her books, felt that I was Smarter and More Capable than Thou... loved "The Selfish Ideal".
Then I finished adolescence.
Like may things Randinism is a phase.
How can people, students of high theory, philosophy and such actually consider this woman to be anything other than a stylish author!?
Digressing over.

So? Should I stay or should I go? *duh-na-na-na-naa*